Admitting the Problem

All the experts interviewed agreed that one of the strengths of Harvard is its extensive counseling and outreach network. The only catch is to use it. Most of the suicides at Harvard in the past two decades have been committed by students unknown to Harvard's therapists and counselors. "It takes a tremendous amount of courage for somebody who's feeling depressed or suicidal to come down here [to Room 13]," Bailin says.

Sometimes the pressure to look Harvardian even though you don't feel Harvardian can cause serious problems. "Harvard is a place where people feel a real need to act like they're okay, to put on a happy face," says Bailin. "Often that makes it more difficult for people to reach out and get help."

At a recent panel discussion on Harvard's counseling services, a few students said they were discouraged from turning to Mental Health Services or other counseling groups because they didn't want others to think them "abnormal" or "weak."

"It was a blow to my ego," said one student who went to the Bureau of Study Counsel for help.

Several students of color at the same meeting said they preferred to have counselors of their gender or ethnic background and complained about the lack of minority staff at Harvard's counseling services. "There are some things about being Black that a person who isn't Black would not understand," said one Black student.

Others said they felt more comfortable talking to peers than counselors, accounting perhaps for the large volume of calls received by Room 13 last year. But there are still people who need help yet don't ask. "For every person that uses [Room 13], I think that there's many, many more who could," Bailin says.

"Generally speaking, suicide is not wanting to die. It's wanting life to be better, wanting a change, the attempt is a cry for help," says O'Neil. Eighty percent of potential suicides show signs before they kill themselves, she says. They give away prized possessions. They seemed depressed. They either can't sleep or can't get out of bed. They are often apathetic, withdrawn, irritable, indecisive. In any case, it is better to ask if they need help than to leave them alone, O'Neil says.

"The worst thing that can happen is that someone gets mad at you," O'Neil adds.

If you or someone you know seems depressed or suicidal, Bailin suggests using Room 13 first. "We're sort of what we like to think of as the front line," Bailin says, pointing to a board on the wall listing phone numbers of everything from Mental Health Services and professional suicide hotlines to local pizza deliverers. "If somebody's in crisis and needs to talk, if somebody needs a referral to a place where they can get long- term counseling, that's how Room 13 is best used," he says.

Catlin, whose office shelves are lined with books with titles like Existence and Solitude, The Meaning of Anxiety, and Theory of Suicide, recalled a favorite anecdote with which to close his interview. "Bertrand Russell," he said, "while he was an undergraduate at Cambridge, described how he felt so despairing that he would go to a secluded spot and think about suicide, but as he thought more about it, he realized how interested he was in mathematics and decided to live on." It is these kinds of stories that Catlin hopes students will remember.