At 7:33, the P.A. announcer had already mentioned all of the Titan sponsors. He had already announced the entire Titan roster and half the Titan coaching staff. Was he planning on thanking every Titan fan individually?

At 7:37, a Lynn resident delivered the worst and longest rendition of the national anthem I had ever heard. Not a good omen.

At 7:45, the Lynn mayor flipped a coin. Bay State to receive.

At 7:46, the P.A. announcer directed the spectators' attention to the concession stands, where non-alcoholic beer was being sold. The fans booed.

At 7:47, Middle Georgia kicker Steve Singletary prepared to kick off. The ball fell off the tee.

At 7:49, I sprinted to the Stop n' Shop to beg for an extra 20 minutes. As I exited the stadium, I saw the Bay State quarterback separate his shoulder on the first play of the game.

Fuckin' miserable.

The action was hardly NFL quality. Both punters got off 10-yarders. Both kickers shanked 45-yard field goal attempts. The receivers had more drops than a bottle of Visine. The first touchdown was scored when the Titan reserve QB tripped over his feet in his own end zone and fumbled the football.

But as Titan safety Julio Fernandez said after the game, "These guys have heart." Playing football for free may sound romantic, but players who supply their own jockstraps and hold down day jobs must have an unyielding determination to crack the bigs, an undying love for the game, or a screw loose. Or all three.

Certain players kept catching my eye. The 30-year-old NFL journeyman linebacker looking for one last shot. The 19-year-old, 300-pound defensive end with clear pro potential. The flashy wideout who danced to MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" during midfield introductions.

The P.A. announcer was doing his damnedest to keep people entertained. He launched his Johnny Most and Jack Nicholson impressions. He apologized for the long ticket lines.

When he announced that the attendance total of 8450 had shattered the league attendance record, the 3000 or so fans in the stadium laughed. They actually laughed. One guy wondered aloud whether they were counting people in nearby houses.

Lars's father used to sell out the Manning Bowl for every game. Still, the fans who were there were having a good time. So was I.

I had never seen an entire football crowd laugh before.

The Titans won, thanks to an exciting goalline stand. 10:35--plenty of time for postgame interviews.