"Am not!"

"Am too!"

SO WHAT should Harvard's troubleshooters do about this distressing dilemma? There are several possibilities:

1. Lengthen reading period and exam period: Yeah, that's the ticket. How about until...March? This would give us more time to study and professors more time to do their research (which they would rather be doing anyway). It's a marvelous idea, so it obviously will never happen.

2. Shorten reading period and exam period: This would make January stress even worse, but at least it wouldn't have to last the whole month. I'm sure Harvard students would adore this solution. In fact, maybe we should scrap December vacation, too, so that we wouldn't have to deal with the guilt of relaxing.

3. Eliminate reading period and exam period: This one will happen soon after (1.) and just before Dean of the College L. Fred Jewett '57 slam dunks a basketball.

4. Switch reading period and exam period: This solution, however, does not make one iota of sense. It is illogical, incomprehensible and basically stupid. Which leads me to believe that the Harvard administration will look very kindly towards it. After non-ordered choice, I'm willing to believe anything.