The 1990 Mets, for instance, serve Steve's ice cream at Shea Stadium. They served Haagen-Dazs in the 1980s. Q.E.D.

5. Good local baseball teams lead to good local election results.

Back in the late 1970s, when people liked the Yankees, our mayor was Ed Koch. Now, according to newspaper polls, two out of every three New York teenagers like the Mets. David Dinkins is our Mayor. Ah-hah.

4. Not only are good baseball teams politically correct, but politically correct fans like good baseball teams.

Dinkins (p.c.) was seen wearing a Mets jacket to the U.S. Open. Dinkins clearly likes the Mets. Tells you something.

It might tell you that my philosophy represents a very small and marginal section of the baseball community. But I like hot dogs, baseball, apple pie and Chevrolet like everyone else. It's just that my icons come with a few particulars. Thus, the last three and most important commandments.

3. Hotdogs are to be eaten with mustard--only.

2. Apple pie should be heated, not cold.

1. And baseball, good baseball, is the New York Mets. They don't wear pinstripes.