.I do not use the word "anal" gratuitously to describe people whom, at a normal school, would be described as "uptight." Unlike the typical Harvard student, I do not feel the need to demonstrate a facile knowledge of Freudian psychoanalytic theory at every possible opportunity by making a disturbingly graphic comparison between someone's behavior and a bodily orifice.
.I will be Class Marshal. I hate to harp on this point, but it's true--let's face it, the typical Harvard student is not the Class Marshal, which is a position only one or at most a few (I'll have to check on this) people can hold.
WELL, those should be enough reasons to convince you that I will be elected Class Marshal. In the next few weeks, you'll probably see a bunch of people walking around campus, slapping you on the back and asking for your vote. Feel free to humor them, but remember, this is just a formality.
I will win. It is my...Destiny.
Oh, and one last thing--try not to laugh too hard when you see me wearing the tux at Commencement.
Brian D. Reich '91 did not turn in his Class Marshal application in time to be an official candidate. He does not regard this as a serious obstacle to his inevitable victory.