For the first 19 years of my life, I believed in the gospel of the Washington Redskins.

Joe Theisman. Joe Washington. John Riggins. Art Monk. These were my gods. And every Sunday I sat in front of our living room television set and prayed.

My happiest memory of junior high school, aside from my Bar Mitzvah, was the Redskin's Super Bowl victory over Miami. When John Riggins broke through the Dolphin line on fourth-and-one, I ran around the house banging the walls and shouting.

I wondered if life could ever get better.

Well, the years have gone by, and although life probably hasn't gotten much better, I've gotten a bit wiser. And I'm losing allegiance to the team of my youth.

My disillusionment began when I read that Oliver North had spoken to the team before its 1988 Super Bowl victory over the hapless Denver Broncos.

Although I never believed that the team spent time rallying for socialism in its spare time, I still felt let down. What did North tell them, I wondered, win one for the contras?

Skinned

I never shared these treasonous thoughts with any of my Skins-loving friends. I assumed my fears would dissipate and I could return to my knee-jerk support for the burgundy and gold.

Besides, I was a fair-weather fan more than a political zealot. I lived on the illusion that the Redskins gave equal time to all political persuasions and would invite Ted Kennedy to speak very soon.

Ted was never invited. And in the meantime, I watched in horror as Joe "Loving God and Family" Gibbs took his religious fanaticism on the road.

It was one thing for Gibbs to tell Washington-area television viewers that football was not number one in his life, and that God was. (A little perspective never hurts.) But to use his position at the helm of the Redskins to espouse a certain religion and sell religious books? Who did he think he was?

Gibbs took the final step by leading protests against The Last Temptation of Christ. How many Redskins fans said, "I'd love to see this movie, but damnit, our beloved football coach gave it two thumbs down."

My friends told me not to worry, to focus on the game of football and not the people involved.

I tried and I tried. And then something horrible happened.