2. "Can I call you Joey?"

1. "Who thought of this personal phone service, Jose? Rupert Murdoch?"

I didn't celebrate the Cubs' pennant until the season was over. Just wanted to be real sure.

Clarkson's Jarmo Kekalainen, probably one of the only ECAC hockey players who could catch up to Lane MacDonald last year, will start for the Bruins tonight against the Pittsburgh Penguins. Looks like the B's plan to be more of a skating team this year. Whoa.

The Mets released Gary Carter and Keith Hernandez this week. Three years ago, the two helped the Mets win the 1986 World Series. Maybe the Mets are really becoming the Yankees.

Well, not really. This week, Yankee outfielder Luis Polonia was given a two-month sentence for having sex with a minor. Once again, George's boys have managed to steal the headlines. The front page of Tuesday's New York Post read: "Jail Bait." Love that classy tabloid journalism.

Rickey Henderson is playing like a player possessed for the Oakland A's. Is this the same guy who would jog for fly balls in Yankee Stadium?

Jimmy Johnson probably wishes he was still back in Miami. The Hurricanes are the second-ranked team in the nation, while the Cowboys have given up the most points in the NFL, have scored the least points and haven't won a game yet. To add insult to injury, the Green Bay Packers are favored to beat Dallas this weekend.

Bring back the NBA. Now.