At a neutral site somewhere near Butte, Montana, four baseball fans sit before the tube in anticipation of today's American League Championship Series game from Oakland. By some harmonic convergence in the universe, one is an Oakland A's fan, another is a Blue Jay fan, a third is a Giant fan, and the last is, you guessed it, a Cub fan.
After 162 games, the baseball playoffs begin today. By another quirk of fate, it just so happens that in this decade, all four of this year's playoff teams have been at the threshold of a world championship but have been unable to cross it. All four have smelled the roses, but none of them got to keep them, much less the trophy. Or the rings. And their fans could smell the roses, too.
"The A's better win it all this year," the Oakland fan said. "Last year, we were the best team in baseball. Jose Canseco was more than the MVP. He was the king, czar, whatever. Dennis Eckersley could have put out those Yellowstone fires by himself. We just huffed and puffed and blew the Red Sox out of the playoffs."
"But I'll never understand what happened in the World Series," the A's fan continued, shaking his head. "That Gibson, he couldn't even make it around the bases. He was practically crippled. But he hit that homer. Off of The Eck. I never even heard of half the Dodgers who were playing, but we couldn't beat those no-names."
"But it won't matter, not if we win this year," he added. "We'll forget all about last year. All will be forgiven."
"That's nothing," the Giant fan retorted. "At least the A's went to the Series. And they won three times in the '70s. Our side of the bay has never seen the World Series."
"We couldn't even get out of the playoffs in '87. Lost in seven lousy games," the San Francisco fan complained. "Sure we had Jeff Leonard, but a lot of good his big mouth did."
"But none of that will matter if we win this year," he said decidedly. "We'll forget about the last three decades. All will be forgiven."
"You think that's bad? You had Willie Mays. You had Bobby Thomson's Shot Heard 'Round the World," the Blue Jay fan said. "You guys have more than met your quota on winning for this century."
"The Jays have never won a pennant, those chokers," he continued. "In 1985, we were up three games to one against the Royals. This was the Royal team with Buddy Biancalana at shortstop and Frank White hitting cleanup. And we lost to them."
"And there was the 1987 debacle. It was the last week of the season, and we basically had the division locked up. Only one team could have blown it. The Blue Jays. We lost seven straight."
"But if we win this year, we'll forget about those nightmares," the Toronto fan said decisively. "All will be forgiven."
"I think it's past your bedtime, kid," the Cub fan said. "You guys have only been playing for 13 years. You're just toddlers when it comes to choking."
"You want losers, the Cubs are the team," he continued. "We haven't won the pennant since World War II. We haven't won the World Series since before World War I. No other team has waited that long. Poor Ernie Banks played his whole career for the Cubs. No ring for him."
"In '84, we had it. We were up 2-0 against the Padres. Everyone in the country was on our side."
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