3. Iron their socks.

2. Spend and entire Saturday dialing Jose Canseco's new sports line.

1. Watch "Dallas."

Mike Barnicle said it best this week: Those who don't know anything about football root for Notre Dame.

Speaking of the Irish, Lou Holtz's squad gets to play SMU on November 11. There's some tough scheduling for you. And this is a team that should win the national championship. Who are the Irish playing next? Columbia?

College hockey has already started in the Midwest. Minnesota is already 0-2. Guess the Gophers haven't recovered yet.

Caught the Calgary Flames playing the Bruins last Saturday. The Flames are definitely the scariest team in the NHL.

I wonder if Danny Ferry is having red wine with his pasta these days.

It has already started: Rob Mahnke, diehard Lowellian and Celtics fan, is asking questions about the Knicks. This week, he wanted to know who Patrick Ewing's backup center is (Eddie Lee Wilkins). This is going to be the best Atlantic Division season in a long time. I mean, even the New Jersey Nets might win some games.

The mascot for the Orlando Magic is called (gasp) Stuff the Magic Dragon. Get it?