I never tried to keep lactaid in the union (or change the world) again.

Element 3: Lactose intolerance is an issue with mass appeal. Scientific evidence indicates that as many as one in two Harvard students may have problems digesting milk.

Many of these students may be afraid to tell family and friends about their handicap; these pitiable souls suffer in silence. Others do not yet know that their painful stomach cramps would disappear if they just cut back on ice cream. Still others may just be denying the problem.

A campus-wide consciousness raising poster campaign could bring the lactose intolerants out of the woodwork. With mass backing, we could shake the ivy off the walls of the University.

Element 4: Action can and must be taken. Lactose intolerance is not an issue for the weak; campus activists worth their weight in styrofoam can make a difference.

Why not dress up like 18th century revolutionaries and dump 50 barrels of dining hall ice cream into the Charles River? Why not spray heavy cream on Harvard administrators until they provide free lactaid in the dining halls?

Justice today! Justice tomorrow! Justice forever!

Fellow lactose intolerants, campus activists and other caring people should write The Crimson. With enough support, I hope to start the first chapter of Lactose Intolerants for a Progressive Society. (LIPS)

Apart, we will continue to get sick to our stomachs. Together, we can defeat the ugly menace of closed-minded ice cream lovers.

Lactose intolerants of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your (stomach) pains!