DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA

WELCOME to Daytona Beach, Florida. We are coming to you live from Checkers, home of the famous Wednesday Night Wet T-shirt Contest. The dance floor has cleared and everyone is ready for the start of the show. We'll bring you all the action after this brief message.

"VD stinks. So be prepared. Make sure to use a thingamajig."

Welcome back. Checkers' owner Tom Owen is introducing the last of tonight's contestants. Let's listen in.

"Hello scrumptious. What's your name?"

"Cindy."

"And where are you from?"

"Michigan State." (applause)

"What's your name, sugah?"

"Mary." Mary is off to an aggresive start and is rubbing up against Owen's side.

"Foxy little wench aren't you?" (wild cheers).

The girls have begun to dance. They are wearing bikini underwear and long white T-shirts. The shirts have slits down the middle, starting at the neck. Two muscular Checkers' employees fire water from machine gun shaped squirt guns at the girls' chests.

"Sam, what's it like down there?"

"Fine Bob. The girls all look great. I'm betting that Cindy will be one of the finalists. She has a pretty face, a slender body and long legs. I caught a glimpse of her whole right breast a while ago and it looked great. Large and firm. Back to you."

Thanks Sam. The first round is over. The girls have lined up obediently behind Owen. The crowd, including boyfriends of the girls, are shouting encouragement. The finalists are...Judy (applause) and...Cindy (more applause). The other girls are offering congratulations to the two finalists. Let's check in with Sam.

"Hi Bob. In the finals I expect Cindy to win although Judy could offer real competition. She won some loud cheers by playing with her underwear. We'll bring you all the action after this message."

"Did you know that you can get AIDS through sexual intercourse? Be prepared. Makes sure he wears a doohickey."

Welcome back. Listen to the crowd.

"SKIN TO WIN. SKIN TO WIN."

Cindy came out strong by walking along the outside of the stage and staring each guy in the eye. ("SKIN TO WIN.") Judy has responded with lots of pelvic thrusts. ("SKIN TO WIN.")

Wait, Cindy seems to be up to something. "Sam, can you give us a report?"

"Sure Bob. Cindy has both hands on her T-shirt and is letting them linger. She's smiling naughtily. Now she is flashing her breasts to the crowd."

"What do they look like Sam?"

"They're round. And perfect. She has covered herself up. And she is now making the number one sign. She's a winner."

The music has ended. Let's listen to Owen for the results.

"What a show. Let's hear it for Spring Break 88! (cheers). Let's hear it for Judy (a few claps) and for Cindy (wild applause)."

That about does it, folks. Cindy from Michigan is the overwhelming winner and will soon be the proud owner of a brand-new Checkers mug. For Bob Beachball and Sam Sunburn, good night and please tune in tomorrow when Checkers celebrates its famous Thursday Night Bikini Contest.