4. "Look at the Miami Dolphins. They throw for 500,000 yards but they also throw five interceptions. And those interceptions knock off 400 yards."--Michigan Coach Bob Schembechler on his football team throwing the ball 25 times or less.

(Don't worry. We still don't know what Bo is talking about.)

3. "E to the u, du-dx; e to the x, dx; cosine, secant, tangent, sine, 3.14159; integral, radical, u, dv; slapstick, slide rule, MIT."--The school cheer for MIT, which played its first varsity football game in 87 years.

2. "It's like an orgasm that you've been waiting to have for five years."--Lee Feldman, a Columbia junior, after the Lions broke their 44-game winning losing streak with a 16-13 victory over Princeton.

(Drum roll, please.)

1. "I haven't had this much fun since the pigs ate my brother."--Harvard Trainer Dick Emerson at a frigid Soldiers Field during a Harvard baseball doubleheader against Northeastern. NCAA Men's Ice Hockey Top 15

Rank  School  Record 1.  Michigan State  17-1-0 2.  HARVARD  11-0-0 3.  Minnesota  14-4-0 4.  St. Lawrence Univ.  11-0-0 5.  Northern Michigan  12-6-1 6.  Maine  13-3-0 7.  Boston  10-3-0 8.  Lake Superior State  10-5-3 9.  Univ. of Ill-Chicago  11-6-2 10.  Denver  11-8-1 11. Cornell  6-2-0 12.  Michigan Teach  10-9-0 13.  RPI  7-3-2 14.  Wisconsin  8-7-4 15.  Michigan  7-8-3