"I had this romanticized view. You climb to the top in college--well gee, that'll happen in the real world. The closer I come to some of the grim aspects of this type of life, I ask myself, is this the sacrifice I want to make," Potok says. "The being hungry for a while doesn't worry me. If the passion's there, you'll get there. The difficulty is doubting the passion." Potok thinks she may work with an acting teacher in Israel or return to America and head to Chicago.
Jennifer A. Litt is packing for Chicago too. After a summer at the Bennington, Vermont writing program, she will move to Illinois to act, direct and write. With one prize-winning, published play already under her belt and a partially completed novel, Litt says she feels secure about her writing. "I'm much more scared about going into theater, but I will," she says.
Litt always knew she wanted to be involved in the arts, yet when senior year rolled around she nearly applied to publishing companies, magazines, and graduate schools. But she knew she had to try to write and direct. "There is a great pressure at Harvard to know what you're doing for the rest of your life. But no one really knows what they're doing even if they think they do. I don't mind not knowing what I'm doing. I'm not uncomfortable."
What all of these seniors have in common is that they are willing to face this uncertain profession. they have a high tolerance for ambiguity. Few other Harvard seniors are willing to leap into the world with so few safety nets. Many may not know what they are doing after graduation, but for most that is a temporary condition soon rectified by a steadily paying job or a spot in a graduate school. These actors have chosen to pursue a career even when there are few jobs.
The ART's Matteson warns: "There are probably 100,000 actors for every job. It's a field that you have to break into with a vengance."
Every year, Harvard seniors go into acting. last year, Ronis, who spent four years acting at Harvard, went to Chicago. "The most difficult thing is making the decision to do it," he says. Within two weeks he was cast as the lead in Arthur Miller's Creation of the World at the Performer's Arena. But in January he hit a lull. Although his parents had given him enough money to pay for a year's rent, it was gone within four months. He wasn't being cast and had to take a job in a bookstore to support himself. "It was a real depressing period," he says. "But I kept telling myself I've only been here for three months." Since then things have picked up, but it wouldn't be surprising if there are more lulls.
Tudor has found the inner reserves to face acting, insecurity and rejection for the next two years. She comes from a family that is "very concerned with making sure you're secure. They always like to make sure you're doing something that will have a paycheck, and I think I started to fall into that pattern." But she was driven to try acting for at least a while, because it might be her last chance.
She says she knew she wanted to be an actress when she was four or five years old. "Everyone had imaginary friends; I had imaginary companies."
At Harvard the Adams House resident has acted in, produced or been involved with a play almost every semester. From Amen Corner freshman year, to The Wiz to The Tempest to For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf, the English concentrator has found that acting is her greatest joy. "there are a lot of things that are fun to do, but there are very few things that I enjoy that make me so happy. I could act 'til I die."
While many actors go to New York undertrained and short on contacts, Tucker McCrady has the closest thing to a ticket to success. He is a member of Julliard's 20th dramatic arts class. To gain admission, he competed against more than 600 people for one of the 20 openings. At the prestigious school he will receive voice, movement, dance, and acting lessons among others.
Julliard actors are rarely unemployed. From their school they make inumerable contacts, an invaluable aspect of any successful actor's life. Agents and casting directors come to the school every year in search of new talent, and McCrady definitely seems like the talent they will find. A tall, lanky man he has versatile looks that have allowed him to play the romantic lead in a Pudding show and the lead in The Elephant Man.
McCrady is sure of himself as an actor, a confidence that comes from years of training. In high school, he left Sewanee for Minneapolis to spend a year at the Minneapolis Theater School. Every summer has been spent in summer stock. He has appeared in three Hasty Pudding theatricals, two Gilbert and Sullivan productions and numerous other productions including Play, where he and two other actors performed sitting in urns. Freshman year he was in five shows plus the Pudding. "And I was also trying to convince myself I was a mathematics major, which was tough." Fall semester junior year, already a philosophy concentrator, McCrady directed a show in the Ex, acted in two plays and sang for the Krokodiloes.
For someone who has feverishly devoted himself to theater and performance, McCrady seems remarkably unimpassioned about acting. He doesn't say things like "theater is all I've ever wanted to do." Instead he says: "It's true; when pressed to the wall, I admit it's my favorite thing to do," or "I never had that single-minded drive. There are other things I can do to be happy." But he admits he may be a bit defensive, trying not to need to act so that it won't hurt if he fails.
Gasser would have applied to drama schools this year, but all of the auditions were held the week her thesis was due. She couldn't do both at the same time and might audition next year. Freshman year her first role was in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, then she went on to The Glass Menagerie. "I was playing old Southern ladies all freshman year." The Harvard, Massachusetts, native is ending her acting career at Harvard playing Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire. In between she has played Juliet in Romeo and Juliet and has appeared in Richard II, Troilus and Cressida, Savage Love and Blood Wedding, among others. "I've gained a lot of range and diversity, a confidence and ease," she says.
Gasser throws herself into her roles with intensity. Now that she's playing Blanche "I talk in a Southern accent all the time. I come out bruised and battered, physically and emotionally after plays."
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