Tell you what I'm gonna do. They say you got eight of those hot dog stands up there in Washington. Nine ball.... That's where I'll put you to work after I win 'em tonight, You'll be the short-order cook in the dingiest and dirtiest of 'em all. On the midnight shift. Twelve ball. And after you've been workin' in there one night during the summer for about ten hours and figure it's time for you to go home for the night, I'm gonna come in and order 250 fried eggs. Fried over light. Four ball. Yeah, 250 of 'em. Fifteen ball. Then as you cook 'em, one by one, I'll eat all 250 of 'em. One ball. And my boy, I will then get up and walk out and leave you not one red cent tip. Seven ball.

THE BOOK is jam-packed with fascinating rules of thumb from a bygone age. Read Iacocca's book and you'll get nothing but attitude and abstraction. Iacocca would probably tell you to keep your money in real estate or mutual funds. But poker player Johnny Moss has more practical advice: keep your cash in a wad with a rubber band around it--"so's you can throw it in the bushes case you're hijacked."

And if you're entering a game in which you doubt the gentlemanliness of your fellow player, be sure to hide your money-wad well. Pug Pearson used to lay his bankroll on the ground and then drive his car over it so that it was buried under the tire.

The best thing about the book is the endless procession of anecdotes--some true, some apocryphal, and some obvious tall tales. Hear Bobby Riggs bitch and whine his way into psyching-out tennis champ Margaret Court. See Minnesota Fats make a winning pool shot a split-second before the floorboards buckle underneath him and he falls into his basement.

And best of all, watch Titanic Thompson repeatedly succeed against all odds. He tosses a walnut over a three-story building. He drives a golf ball 400 yards. He shoots a live rat in a pitch black basement. Of course, Thompson has things rigged so that none of his "propositions" were really against the odds.

So next time you've got a sure thing going, and you just know you're going to win, bear Damon Runyon's advice in mind. "Son, no matter how far you travel, or how smart you get, always remember this: Some day, somewhere, a guy is going to come to you and show you a deck of cards on which the seal is never broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that the jack of spades will jump out of this deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet him, for as sure as you do, you are going to get an ear full of cider."