Not all athletic wanna-bees stoop so low as to break the law, though. A far simpler path to fashion coolness draws the aspirant directly to Dillon.

"We probably hear as many stories as teachers hear about why [students] can't do their homework--you know, the dog ate it," says Clifford.

The assistant manager recalled one girl who after attempting gentle persuasion, finally seduced a student worker into stripping the sweatshirt off his own back.

"All the girls use their charm trying to weasel one out of you," undergraduate worker Daniel J. Sheehan '87 says. "It works."

In an interesting twist, however, those students who presume to wear their athletic attire after dropping a sport, run the risk of social stigma, not universal adulation.

Tracey M. Roberts '88, who coxed crew for several weeks last year, says she has gotten flak for keeping the sweatshirt as part of her wardrobe.

"One time I was accosted by [a neighbor], and he went on this moralizing rampage about how this shirt means something to people who have it," Roberts says. "Well, I don't care, I don't have this particular kind of attachment. It's tough cookies. To me, it doesn't have that kind of connotation. You get much more out of a sport than being able to wear a shirt."

Those who persist in wearing the chronically large cotton blends, however, often find themselves facing a different type of problem altogether--the dwarfing syndrome.

Although the sweatshirts theoretically range in size from small to extra-large, a shirt that terminates above mid-thigh is a rare find.

"I'll just say, I'm 6-8, and it's too big for me," men's basketball center William A. Mohler '88 says.

"My whole family fits in this," Umlas says. "I guess the idea is, if they're good enough for [former Harvard football tackle] Roger Caron, they're good enough for everyone."

"One is good enough for everyone," interjects his fellow trackster Brendan F. Callaghan '87. "They're also good for gloves," he adds, pulling the sleeves over his fists.

Paul M. Kent '87, another track team member,insists, "I feel very strongly about maintainingthe extra-large style, because I'm a small guy andI like to feel bigger."

Whether treasured for their comfy if cavernousfit, or simply for the elite status they carry,Harvard athletic sweatshirts are an omnipresentfeature of undergraduate dress.

Perhaps the final word on the sensation,however, comes from Patricia Bridge, a sophomoreat Boston University who monitors Blodgett Pool.

"I would hate to be the person who puts thelittle maroon stamps on them," Bridge says. "Canyou imagine putting on stamps for thesepromiscuous little Harvard twits who run aroundwith the ball all day and get paid for it,practically?"

Not really.

Good thing we only have to wear them