It was difficult to formulate a cogent reply while hanging upside down. "I swear, I was coming to cover the dance festival."

"With 100 crates full of assault rifles? You Americans are so arrogant with your gross violations of international law. How do you think your government would respond if a foreigner came into your country with so many weapons?"

"Actually, sir, we encourage it." Rutger interjected, holding out his 'I'm NRA' membership card. "We Americans love our leisure time."

The prosecutor was taken aback. "You do?" Sensing a moment of weakness, Rutger immediately began to expound the whys and wherefores of the American Way. In a few minutes he had a convert. "But even if the United States does have the right to subvert the government of any country it chooses," the interrogator asked as he drove us to the airport, "Why does it pick on us?"

"Simple, amigo." Rutger smiled. "You don't buy Coca-cola." The Sandinista looked perplexed. Rutger added, "I don't make the rules, guy. I just break 'em." And with that we boarded our jet.

In a few short hours we were home in the sweet U.S. of A. The only problem we had was at U.S. Customs, when Rutger and I were arrested and thrown in prison for possession of controlled substances.

Unfortunately, in America no one listens to you when you scream, "You can't do this to me! I'm an American citizen!"