Whether intended or not, you did a hatchet job on Duluth and its citizens, and in the process came off as a smart-assed elitist. If, in fact, that is you nature, Harvard credentials won't help you in the "real" world. If your article was an attempt at humor, I'd grade it an "F". You'll have to study more Jim Murray columns.

Well, I'd better close... have to get ready for the theater... or was it the symphony... the opera?...   Dr. Ron Zobenica

Say Vat?

Dear Editor:

Bet your boots Mike didn't tell anyone vat happen to him in Duluth, Minn. So I'm sending to you some articles about your Ace sports writer, Mike; so dat you can get some ha, his. Tell him he make headlines in big City paper.

I vood send this stuff to Mikey; but den all he wood do is tear it up, swear, and nobody get any ha, ha's. I vood of send him the playing record "This is My Shining Hour," too; but I don't trust the post mail. I think they would brake the record. It be nice for Mike to play this record vile he reads the newspaper stuff.

Now-I think I know what happens to Mike when he is in Duluth. He is figuring out a get-a-way route for escape to airport, but he gets lost in big city Duluth. Now, don't you laugh, it is easy to get lost in a big city, but Mike gets the panic too.

Yoost like the greenhorn deer hunters in the voods-when they get the lost-they get the panic. They start to run when they get this panic-but in the voods they make a big circle. After they run this big circle three or four times, they fall on the ground, because they are so tried with their tongue hanging out one foot. Then they remember they have the compass and map in their pockits. When they look at map and use compass, they come to their car, only two blocks away. Bet Mike forgot the map and compass.

Now, instead of running, Mike is in car, and he is pushing foot on the gas pedal-he thinks he is running, but he is speeding around blocks. He goes around eight-10 blocks, round and round, and he makes a square circle!!! First time in history somebuddy makes a square circle? Mike voodn't make the headlines, and just maybe the Big-a-House.

You know, the place the make little ones out I do big ones. Rocks that in. So, tell Mike to study practice swinging the sledge-hammer. Not the small won, but the won that goes a good 12 pounds, Dey don't use the small wons anymore.

Tell him to get a harmonica, and learn the song "21 Years." It's a old won but nice. First verse goes like dis:

The judge says stand up boy.

And dri up your tears,

I'm a sentencing you,

To Twenty-One Years.

We can play duct ven I come to see him in the big-a-house, on the visiting day.

I finish letter now, cause I can't think of no more to write. But I still am--   Toivo   From Hibbing, Mn.

But you half to look at map to see vere dis town is.

Tell Mike next time he come to Duluth-I be guide for him. That vay if he get lost, he be only half lost. Best you take some pictures of newspaper stuff before you give to Mike-he will eat the stuff, so nobody else sees it.