A Gnat that had been buzzing about the head of the Bull, at length settling himself down upon his horn, begged his pardon for incommoding him, "but if," says he, "my weight at all inconveniences you, pray say so and I will be off in a moment." "Oh, never trouble your hand about that," says the Bull, "for 'tis all to me whether you go or stay; and, to say the truth. I did not know you were there."

The smaller the Mind the Greater the Conceit.  an 1848 English version of Esop's Fables

While Yale may actually edge out Harvard in the unqualifiable category of "undergraduate life," the key question in analyzing the rivalry is whether anyone at Harvard cares. In a true competition, both sides must possess or embody something desired by the other, and both sides must care. In the Harvard-Yale rivalry, Harvard does most of the possessing, and Yale does most of the caring.

By almost any academic yardstick available--though any such numerical comparison is crude--Harvard fares much better than Yale. A study conducted by the Conference Board of Associated Research Council recently assessed the "reputations" of faculty members in 32 fields. Harvard had 22 departments rank in the top 10, Yale 17.

Similar results emerge when examining the relative contributions to American leadership. In the 97th Congress, 44 senators and representatives have studied in Cambridge, 23 in New Haven. Six American Presidents did time at Harvard, two at Yale (although both had special distinctions--William Howard Taft, a College graduate, was the largest President, Gerald R. Ford of the Law School, was the only unelected one).

To the general populace, it would seem that no rivalry existed whatsoever. The Reader's Guide to Periodicals for March 1982 to February 1983 listed 20 articles in the press about Harvard, and only six about Yale. To be convinced that one school captures the popular imagination than another, one need only note Hollywood's preoccupation--Love Story. A Small Circle of Friends. The Last Convertible. The Paper Chase--have all centered on life along the Charles. A Yale spokesman recently could not recall a single full-length movie about his school, but countered that "Love Story was written at Yale, and there were several Yale names in it even though it took place at Harvard." He added that "in Bedtime for Bonzo [starring Ronald Reagan, who went to Eureka], the monkey in the end gets smart enough to go to Yale."

In admissions, Harvard traditionally gets more than 12,000 applicants, while Yale draws under 10,000. Of those accepted by the older school, about 75 percent enroll, compared to 60 percent for the younger. Yale's claim to democracy and diversity has waned, considering that minorities make up about 15 percent of its undergraduate body, compared with 22 percent at Harvard. Of those accepted at both institutions, about 300 each year go to Harvard, 100 to Yale.

Perhaps the most interesting admissions statistic, however, is in the results of a survey taken in 1982 of Harvard and Yale members of the Class of '57. The alums were asked "if you had to do it over again," where would they have gone to college. Of the Yale graduates, 78 percent said they would return to Yale, 6 percent said they would rather have gone to Harvard. Of the Harvard men, 38 percent would have done the same thing, none would have gone to Yale.

What this indicates as much as anything is how one-sided the so-called rivalry really is. Pierson's volume on merely 50 years of Yale history lists in its index almost 70 references to Harvard, and more than 40 under the category Yale-Harvard comparisons. Morison's 300-year overview makes a scant 15 mentions of Yale. It is quite easy, in discussing Harvard, to ignore Yale.

It is almost impossible to think about Yale without drooling Harvard.

Which is why the rivalry, such as it is, usually highlighted in terms of football. That is one area where in recent years. Yale has clearly excelled. While one might expect athletics at an academically elite institution to play only a minor role. Yale apologists have insisted that their school's success reflects its characters: "Harvard men might win the one-man competitions, but the team competitions went regularly and decisively to Yale," writes Pierson.

Entering the 100th gridiron battle between these 200-year-old rivals, Harvard is 5-2-2 and in contention for the League title. Yale is suffering through its worst season ever with a record of 1-8.

No matter what happens in The Game itself, Yale will be worse than Harvard at football. And what will make that devastating blow more crushing will be that no one at Harvard will care.

Presidents

6 Harvard graduates