This type of man is particularly difficult to shake loose after one or two meetings, because simply by going out with him a woman has created her own personal Frankenstein--someone who mistakes acquaintanceship for acceptance, and politeness for affection.

I'm a girl watcher'

EVERY WOMAN enjoys genuine appreciation. It's a shame so few men know how to show it. Any woman who has walked down a street, especially in a big city and especially during the summertime, knows the difference between appreciation and abuse. Occasionally (usually in our dreams) we walk past men who smile fondly at us. Most of the time we are subjected to a crossfire which makes running the gauntlet look like a stroll. Comments like "Mmmmmm, nice," and "Hi there, honey" from total strangers may seem harmless; but because of them a women who ventures out in public is apt to return home feeling more-totalled than Total.

It is difficult to convince some men that women wear making and dress attractively for a host of reasons, only one of which may be to appeal specifically to them. Self-expression, along with the desire to be generally presentable behind female preening.

It is even more difficult to explain to men--especially those who haven't yet shed their supra-orbital ridges and prognathian jaws--that a women has the right to be both sexy-looking and respected at the same time. A man who flaunts his sex appeal is not presumed to have forfeited his status as a thinking and dignified being. A women, on the other hand, has a tougher choice to make--between appreciation in the sexual game and life's other arenas. It is a dilemma imposed on her by a common male tendency to attribute masculine desires to a woman's character. A corollary which may be a revelation to some men. A women's chest sizes has nothing to do with sex drive (except perhaps yours, upon viewing a pair). The myth that all well-endowed women are sex-crazy was probably started by some ancient male writer plagued by a seven case of wishful thinking.

'You're so vain'

There is a difference between impressing a woman and inspiring her genuine affection. Any man who relies on his resume to attract and hold a woman deserves whomever he gets. Institutions like Harvard abound with individuals who are capable of analyzing government and literature, or diagnosing the ills of an entire marketplace. While being unable to read the underlying emotions of the person with whom they ear, sleep, and talk on a regular basis. A man afflicted with an intellect which comes to life only for academic or professional audiences, while personal subtleties glide past, is telling women that his real concern lies in being seen, understood, and accepted--not in seeing, understanding, and accepting. A woman who enjoys one-way relationships and basking in the rays of her partner's achievements has little difficulty finding someone, compared to the woman who wants a man to love as well as admire.

There is one type of "Harvard Man" who views his education as a substitution for, rather than an enhancement of personal growth. He spends his life racking up achievement after achievement, adding luster to a glossy self-confidence. A deeper and more textured awareness and concern for those around him could transmute him from a merely flashy individual into a remarkable human being, deserving of a loving companion.

THESE THOUGHTS and observations, along with those of other women, should be dropped into one big Suggestion Box for men; men should provide a collection for women as well. Communicating grievances becomes such a simple task once ideology and anger are removed, it's a wonder more feminists didn't discover this fact following their Great Catharsis during the '70s. Only dialogue, not ideology, can ultimately help men and women transcend their differences; yet "Second Stage" feminists nowadays persist in viewing the sexes in terms of movements and jargon. Never mind them. Suggestions, men?