6. Miami Jai-Alai, Miami.
If you have never seen Jai-Alai, you have to go because it is simply the most exciting sport in the country, whether you bet or not. If you have seen it--in Bridgeport or Hartford or wherever--then you have to go because New England Jai-Alai is to Florida Jai-Alai what the Freshman Union is to Locke-Ober's. The Babe Ruth of the sport, Churruca, retired in a tearful ceremony last year, but legends like Calzacorta. Joey, Zulaica and Recalde are still around. If you do bet, stick to the quiniela box, and don't forget the mandatory pre-game dinner in Coconut Grove.
7. The Seadrift Bar. St. Petersburg Beach
Looking for some peace and quiet? Cross Boca Ciega Bay to St. Petersburg Beach, take a left at the Don Cesar hotel (the big pink thing) and drive about four miles down Pass-A-Grille Way. There on your left, is The Seadrift. Break through the cobwebs and walk inside Look empty? It should. They haven't had a paying customer in months. The pinball machines are the old pachinko kind, the beer on tap is Rheingold, and the walls are decorated with old Washington Senators pennants. If you've had enought of tourists no, make that any kind of people and you want to settle down with a cold beer and listen to the latest hits ("The Night Chicago Died." "Disco Duck") on the penny juke box, this is the place. Draw designs in the dust on the table. Talk as loud as you like, the bartender won't mind. He's dead Has been for days. Time is easy at The Seadrift, the least active commercial establishment in Florida.
8. The Winter Park Art Festival, Winter Park.
This yearly event will just be winding down by the time you hit the state, so hurry or you'll miss it. What? You don't want to look at the artistic output of the Winter Park Public School System? Aaaah, you miss the point. Ladies and Gentlemen, in one hour of the Winter Park Art Festival you will see more gorgeous specimens of the opposite sex than in your entire college career to date. It's guaranteed--look on the back of the package. If you can stand close contact with five hundred formless paintings and sculptures, you are in for the artistic experience of your life. Notice the marvelous interplay between form and meaning in those blue eyes in the corner.
9. The Annual Delta Gamma Sorority Party, Gainesville.
And you thought Dartmouth was a party school! Down here, they dispense with kegs and drink beer straight from the truck. Sorority Row (and Fraternity Row for the gals) at the University of Florida is one of the state's biggest attractions, especially on a Saturday night in early Spring. Just like the Art Festival, except you get to touch and feel. If you can't make it to Gainesville, try the Tom Jones Party at Florida State in Tallahassee or any party any night at the University of Miami.
10. Molly's house, Pensacola. (Address available upon request).
Just don't tell her I sent you.
There you have it. Ten things to do in Florida besides-lay in the sun. Just clip the list out, and put it away until you wake up one morning in Aunt Frieda's condo and the rain is playing bongos on the roof. While everyone else heads for Neiman Marcus and the Parrot Jungle, you'll know the esoteric spots--the places to go if you crave a Rheingold on top.
Don't be shy. The whole idea of Florida is to go crazy and do things you wouldn't ordinarily do. Just remember that you'll be sprawled out me a towel by the River all Spring but when's the next chance you'll get to see a shrunken head? So do some different things, see some different sights...and say hello to Molly for me. See you to Margaritaville sports.