But wait...there's much more.

The Red Wings. What a joke. In the 1950s the Wings were the dominant team in the National Hockey League. They won and they won and they won. But for the past several seasons they've been laughing stocks of the NHL. Each year 16 out of the 21 teams in the League qualify for post season competition. But do the Wings? Fat chance from Motown.

All Detroit wants is a winner. Obviously the Pistons and Red Wings are lost causes. They are the pits. They stink. So when it appears that the Lions or Tigers are emitting a glimmer of hope of making the playoffs--playoffs that mean something--the city goes nuts. There is Motown Madness. Detroit Delirium.

Fans' hopes dramatically elevate but soon unavoidably deflate. Till the past couple of seasons, the Lions and the Tigers have been as pitiful as the Pistons and Wings.

Then things seemed to be changing. The Tigers' farm-grown talent had produced nothing but mediocrity since 1973, but the likes of Alan Trammel, Lou Whitaker, Steve Kemp, Jack Morris and Lance Parrish thrust Detroit's love team near the playoffs. The Lions--guided by the poise of Billy "Silver Streak" Sims, Eric Hipple, Doug English, Al "Bubba" Baker and Freddie Scott--appeared to reach a similar plateau.

Three times in the past year, either the Lions or the Tigers came within one game of success. But they clutched. They choked. Last fall, the Tigers had to win two out of three against Milwaukee in the season final series. The Tigers were victorious only once. But Detroit didn't win anything.

Three weeks ago, the Lions could have made the playoffs for the first time in more than a decade, but they, too, fell flat to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Detroit--the land of unemployment and economic depression--suffered once more.

Talk about deprived...