Marc Fiedler '78, a quadriplegic who lived in Quincy House with an attendant after becoming disabled before his junior year and who is currently deputy director of the Office of Handicapped Affairs of Massachusetts, sympathizes with Mattlin's problem. "The relationship with the attendant is a very difficult one. It's imbalanced by the fact that he's always doing things for you and you can't reciprocate," Fiedler says.

Mattlin believes he now knows how to avoid problems with attendants, and he expects to employ his current attendant next year. "I realize my need for professional competency is greater than my desire for companionship," he says. But he adds that, with roommates, the strains of having an attendant would lessen because he would only need the attendant for professional attention. "I think if I had roommates it might ease things. I could just hire somebody who was professional and efficient--even if I couldn't stand him," Mattlin says wryly.

Facing the prospect of a second year without roommates. Mattlin remains committed to "keeping after" officials developing alternative housing options for the disabled. And Raymond V. Wayne '81, president of Advocating a Better Learning Environment (ABLE), the disabled student organization on campus, says he understands the College's decision to evaluate fully the housing situation before making certain removations. But Wayne adds, "I told Ben, 'If I walk in here in the fall of '83 and find you still in Quincy. I'll be very upset.'" Wayne adds that Quincy, like Canaday, is largely inaccessible to people in wheelchairs, with the Junior Common Room and the House's suites of four and five only reachable by stairs. "It's certainly not good for your social life," he says.

While the College seeks to make more Houses and what one official called "the total Harvard experience" accessible to disabled students. Mattlin plans to continue pursuing Harvard life actively. "There's a teeling of independence here. It's easier to get around this campus than to get around New York City," Mattlin says, adding with a grin. "If I have a problem here. I can call Mr. Crooks and things will be tended to--whereas if you're in New York, you don't just call the mayor."

Mattlin says he may write for Harvard publications next year--something in which he dabbled this year. After college, Mattlin would like to pursue his writing interest and go to law school--"for lack of a better thing to do."

Despite a few problems here. Mattlin believes he has succeeded in remaining a social, friendly person. "I think people who are disabled often feel it's a hopeless case. They think it's their dominant feature and the only way they'll be identified. That's stupid. It's just not true."