Day 14
My hotel owner has asked me to leave the hotel, so I move to the 14th to share an apartment with a woman named Illeana. We have no shower, no heat, no air-conditioning, no refrigerator. Illeana is 5-ft., 10-in, and weighs 105 pounds. She is an anorexic vegetarian, who eats only fake camembert cheese and bread crusts. My rent is $250 for one month.
Before I leave for work in the morning. Illeana says only, "Don't buy any meat for your dinner."
Day 23
Rita and Robin, the two women who type with me at the Trib, take me out for coffee and tell me that Norma, my supervisor, does not like me because I am interested in doing more than typing.
"Is there any way you can go home?" Robin says.
"Ohmigod, don't go home until you see Notre Dame and the Louvre." Rita says. I tell her I have seen both.
"Oh."
Day 27
I am sitting on a Transamerican 707. I have horrible diarrhea from eating pounds of fake camembert. I have told the D.E. that my grandfather is dying. I am going home two months early. I do not remember having seen the Jeu de Paummes Museum or the palais Royale or Les Invalides or Montmartre. Later. I will talk about them in detail and sound impressive.
Day 30
Back in Chatham, New Jersey, I am living with my family. This is my first day of work as a Kelly Girl, and I report to a pharmaceuticals company to begin work as a clerk.
No one can believe that I have left an internship at the International Herald Tribune in Paris, France--city of love and lights--to file drug receipts in New Jersey. They do not understand why I am so happy to be able to et a roast beef sandwhich for lunch.
III. Paris in the Fall and the Winter.
It beats me what Paris is the during the fall and winter, but here are some tips anyway.
1. Bring you father's master Charge card to get quick, free cash at one obscure bank in the 12th.
2. Pretend that you have been to all the landmarks before and are bored by them. Five minutes in the Louvre is enough to say you've been there.
3. Act annoyed in the metro. Say "pardon" many times. Assume an air that suggests. "Yes, indeed! I speak French!"
Remember: Appearances are everything.