Flipping the T.V.'s channels on Monday afternoon, I happened to come across one of the classics, Garry Moore's "To Tell the Truth." Hey, I'm good for a few laughs.

Needless to say, I was more than a bit surprised at the announcement of the mystery guest--it was none other than the Harvard hockey team. I put down my Norton reader. The masked teams were saying hello.

"I am the real Harvard hockey team," Team A said. "I've lost four 3-2 games this season."

"I am the real Harvard hockey team," Team B said. "I got blown away, 9-1, by RPI and 9-2 by Michigan State."

"I am the real Harvard hockey team," Team C said. "I beat Northeastern, 10-2, in the opening round of the Beanpot."

Boy, this was going to be some show. I got out some paper for a little "at-home" tabulation.

"And now let's go to the panel," Garry Moore said. "First, the ever-present Bill Cullen."

The "ever-present" Mr. Cullen asked about shots-on-goal ratios, Tommy Murray's separated shoulder and how many of the team members regularly watched "The $10,000 Pyramid." A little self-indulgent, but he'd obviously done some research.

"And now to the lovely comedienne, Peggy Cass."

Blood and Guts

Peggy Cass went for the blood-and-guts-type stuff, like how many of the guys dropped their gloves first and asked questions later and who would rather take the man into the boards than score goals. Now she was really getting somewhere. Team B was contemplating the latter of the two when the buzzer sounded.

"Sorry Peggy," Moore interrupted. "And let's go now to a man who's probably played a lot of hockey himself, the indescribable Orson Bean."

Bean mumbled something about seeing a hockey game once, and then proudly stated that he'd met that great Harvard goaltender, Jim Craig himself. I put a big check next to Orson Bean's name on my list. He followed by asking about injuries, tough scheduling, and parties in Kirkland House. I made the check smaller.

"Finally, let's hear from the effervescent, the wonderful, the intriguing, Miss Kitty Carlisle."

Taking Moore's compliments with a little laugh and a lot of eye-lash waving. Miss Carlisle proceeded to talk at length about niceties of Crimson and white uniforms. The buzzer interrupted before she even asked a question.