Star Wars spawned a whole new breed of toy--the "action figure"--with its enormous success half a decade ago; though Raiders of the Lost Ark didn't produce much in the way of statuary, there are still plenty of little dolls from other movies littering the shelves. "I don't think we'll ever get rid of our Empire Strikes Back stuff," one despairing salewoman said as she clutched Lobot and Ugnaught.
Slightly older children (with slightly more money) can choose from the usual assortment of puzzles and brainteasers. Perhaps on the theory that people are just plain tired of landscapes and hockey players, thought, the move in puzzles this year seems to be toward the impossible. One line--which includes a puzzle of writhing earthworms--boasts identically shaped pieces. Another, the "Wet Paint" Puzzle, fits together to make a "shiny, wet-looking, irregularly shaped puddle of paint." Definitely for the man who already has everything else.
The same people who last year brought you "Strolling Bowling" (bowling balls that walk) this year push "Goofy Golf" (correct, golf balls that walk). And every store in the city has "Tippee Toes," a doll that pushes a stroller. Actually, you push the stroller and she clutches it and walks behind. Complete with inspirational poem:
Spunky Little Girl
She'd Rather Walk Than Ride
Push her stroller
And watch her perky stride
That's only $28, manufactures suggested list price.
For kids who want to ride and not push, there used to be any number of options, from the traditional kiddy-cart to the sporty Big Wheel. This year, though, the "Shoe-Skate Rider." seems all the rage. Now, this takes a little explaining. Imagine one of those running shoes/roller skates; now imagine it three times lifesize and made entirely out of cheap plastic. Now imagine buying it.
The omnipresent Garfield leads chic Filene's long parade of stuffed animals which also includes "Le Mutt," and a series of overweight critters known collectively as the "Potbellies." Fancy dolls range up to $185 at Jordan Marsh across the street, and many if not all of these top-of-the-line items are incapable of performing any bodily functions.
The smell of airplane glue hangs heavy in the aisle of Woolworth's model department. There is everything here, from a 1979 Chevy Blazer (what kind of kid assembles these?) to a replica of the Flying White House, the Boeing 747 also known as the Doomsday Plane where the president will go to sit and watch his country incinerate. It is, the box promises, an exact duplicate of the model that sits at Fort Edwards AFB.
Many musically inclined children are scared away by the forbidding sight of a piano, the makers of the Pianosaurus reckon. To counter this difficulty, they've created a small piano housed in the innards of a purple, very happy, dinosaur.
It's not the eight-page songbook that's the best thing about Pianosaurus. It's this: the shiny fossil is "every-smiling." Just in case you were worried he might one day turn moody.
When I was a kid, the small tape-recorder had just been perfected and there were dozens of toys that used the technology--dolls that cried or cows that mooed when you pulled their string.
Next to the pocket battlefields and miniature gridirons made possible by the microprocessor revolution, though, talking insides is old hat. There is one descendant of the line left, a Mork (of "and Mindy" fame) doll. For under $10 you can pull his string and he will say "Na-No, Na-No and seven other crazy things."
Merry Christmas