"We are not going to be roommates," groused Rosovsky, "and my name is not 'Dean,' young man. Now I think it's about time that you leave."

"Where should I go?"

Rosovsky picked up his phone and called the University police. For the next two days, Armand stayed in Stillman Infirmary, where he was assigned two mental health counselors, who removed his tonsils by mistake. Finally the housing office arranged to provide him a private room in Currier House.

AND ARMAND'S TROUBLES Freshman Week did not stop with housing. Before coming to Harvard, Armand had resolved to be a vegetarian. So the first time he went to the Union for dinner he asked for Polynesian meatless balls. His had meat in them. Armand also had a good time at the Freshman Mixer.

The memory of these unique experiences passed through Armand's mind as the two men in white uniforms carried him off. After what seemed like hours they finally dumped him in a room with padded floor and walls. Later a man in a suit entered the cell and introduced himself.

"Hello, Mr. Linkmuller, I'm a high-level administrator. I'm very sorry, but there has been a mistake. We were mistaken in calling you the Mistake. The company that prints the red dots we use on registration envelopes mistakenly sent us a batch of purple ones instead. Somehow a mistake was made and one of those purple ones--which we use to signify the Mistake--was placed on your packet instead of a red one."

"What does that mean?" asked Armand.

"All it means is that you have to pay your term bill right now," the administrator smiled. Armand was confused. "I already did. I gave a huge check to a man sitting out in front of Memorial Hall who said he was collecting term bill payments."

"Why did you do that?" the administrator gasped.

"Because he told me that if I believed him he'd give me a great deal on a bridge over the Charles."

The administrator stared. He then turned to an aide and asked, "can we recheck the color of that dot?"