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Bursarmania

4. Maurice Chevalier the first time, Albert Einstein the second time, and the award was never given again. P.S.: the flash point for "Valid for Board" Bursars cards is 312 degrees F., for those of you who want to be a hit at parties by burning them, since there aren't draft cards and all...

Bursars Card Humor: So these two Bursars cards are walking down the street, right? And one turns to the other and says:

(Answer later).

A List of Boston Area Stores Honoring Bursars Cards for Big Discounts:

1. Brands Mart.

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Bursars Card Saves the Day:

A group of freshmen were locked out of Weld, so they used a Bursars card to open the lock from the outside.

Bursars Card Hijinx: You can't eat interhouse without a Bursars card.

The Evolution of the Pictureless Bursars Card:

"There is basically one function for which the Bursars card was originally designed," a friend of ours who ought to know tells us. "And that is to afford each student in the University the opportunity to have a positive form of identification with which to gain access to University libraries, charge books therefrom, and, if the student is on board contract, to eat in the University dining halls. That is the reason why, you will note, we have chosen to draw a formal distinction between the "Bursars cards" available at Harvard, and the "Student Identification" cards routinely available elsewhere. It's not just another Harvard quirk, as you can now plainly see--you know, like a calling the Coop the Coupe instead of the Co-op, or Quincy Kwinnzeee--it's an important thing, grounded in important considerations of this and that." Quite frankly we can't disagree.

Speaking of Rubbing...

Travel with me now, down a little lower on the back of your Bursars card, yes, the sacroiliac region--where the signature is. Start rubbing. Rub hard!!! Harder!!! That's it... You see it? What's the opposite of "firmament," in the biblical sense? You got it--VOID. All over where your signature used to be. VOIDVOIDVOIDVOIDVOIDVOID etc. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Everybody should rub their signatures off their Bursars cards, and see how long it takes for anybody to notice. A couple of years, I bet. And by then you'll almost be out of Law School already. In hoc bursars card vinces,   --Richard S.W.

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