As Kirkland recanted the tale of his moment in the limelight, one could tell that he missed it. It was not because he saw a pro career go down the drain.

"I used to play several times a day, regardless of the weather. I really liked it...It was just like an extension of my personality," Kirkland says, groping for the words to explain his feelings.

In the last seven months, Kirkland estimates that he's hit the court just seven times. He says, "I've begun to accept that I probably won't play competitive ball again."

Would things have been different at another school? Would he have gone through with an operation at a basketball school? Largely due to the scholarships, Kirkland feels that "more than likely I would have done everything I could have to play" even if that entailed getting the knife. He adds that he didn't give up easy here, though.

Kirkland says that he has heard complaints of "racial bias" from people in the basketball program but that "my dealings with Satch (Harvard coach Tom Sanders) have been very open and friendly."

He complains about the poor athletic facilities which include a whirlpool too small for him to squeeze into. The state of Harvard facilities and basketball program did not contribute to his decision not to play, however, Kirkland says.

If he could, Mark Kirkland would still be playing basketball, whether at Harvard or on television in the NCAAs.