Milwaukee's Nevada Skuzzbomb puts it differently: "It's the best thing that ever happened to me."

Rosalyn Carter, newlywed to former Governor James Carter, chirps, "I would never have found love but for this."

Terrible Ted, the shaggy dog story of wrestling, said, "I haven't tried it myself, but lots of my friends have, and say it's great."

Billy Whitecloud, of Chief Jay Strongbow sidekick fame, offers, "I have finally come to terms with myself. I have an identity now, I'm my own woman. I think EVERYONE should do it."

Think of that. It's enough to blow the wazoo right out of Peter Pan's Almanac. Tarnation Vides, what a line. If the Reverend Billy Whitecloud says "EVERYONE should do it," then this reporter is impressed.

But, heck! Why not? Speculate this one through the old wisdom machine: God's chosen nation of towering indestructible infernoes blazing to the sky. The land of Milk and Honey and Twelve Foot Citizens. It could never happen in China or the Soviet Union, or any of these other knee-high, submongoloid, blankety-blank satrapies. But only in America. Subway to Freedom. Inventor of Intelligence. Home of Thomas Edison, Rutherford Hays, Popeye The Sailor Manson, Telly Sevalis, Gene Kelly, Huey Long, Richard Ward Day, George C. Patton, James Joyce, Martin Kilson, Endicott Peabody, F.W. Woolworth, and Paul Revere, just to name a few.

America, America. And with that noble sentiment, my friends, words fail me.