'You're drunker than I am," says the drunk.

"Whaddaya trying' to do, bud, run me out of business?" shouts the newsboy.

"You have disobeyed the command of the spiritual master," accuses the devotee. "It is a grave offense."

"Yes," responds the disciple. "But I was only trying to convey my own spiritual bliss to the unhappy people of this world."

"I do not know what to say," speaks the devotee. "You have done a grievous harm. But you have won my heart."

Two other disciples have overheard the last part of this exchange, and by now they mistakenly assume that they can remain partly independent of Bhaktivedanta and still progress toward Krishna. They begin to pick Vedic fruits for the devotee, despite the fact that he has forbidden them to do so.

The devotee does not respond favorably to this gesture. "I explicitly told you not to pick that fruit." With a stroke of the devotee's hand, the power of Krishna transforms the fruit into garbage.

"I am a poor Brahmin," enters a fourth disciple. "Show me something with which I can make my life attractive."

"What do you think you would call 'attractive'?" questions the devotee.

"Well..." hesitates the disciple, "something by which I can enjoy my life, and make it more fulfilling."

The devotee reaches into the garbage for a touchstone, and explains to the disciple that it will turn any metal it contacts into gold. The disciple grabs it, leaps around the room, and turns every accessible metal into gold.

"Do you really want to make your life all-attractive? Throw that thing away!" the devotee commands.

The disciple ponders. "If that's what he's thrown away, I wonder what he's kept..."

The disciple grabs his skull and screams hysterically. You are now prepared to lose yourself in chant.

I walked through the Square yesterday, and found the inevitable troupe of Krishna worshippers peddling their usual wares.