AUGUST

John V. Lindsay pitches nine no-hit innings and homers three times as the New York Mets beat Los Angeles 3-0.

SEPTEMBER

Mao Tse-tung's life reportedly fading after serious case of the gout. President Lyndon B. Johnson makes his 78th television appearance, surpassing President Eisenhower's eight year record by 29 and President Kennedy's total for three years by 45. In his address, Johnson explains the New Math.

OCTOBER

Vice-President Hubert H. Humphrey dies of attrition. President Johnson appoints young serviceman, Patrick Nugent, in his place. Hugh Hefner refused to appear at White House Conference on the Fine Arts. "I won't go near that place until the Playboy Philosophy is law," he says.

NOVEMBER

President Johnson visits France, and all chefs in charge of cooking the state banquet resign. Lady Bird prepares instant coffee in hotel room. Communists take over Indionesia. When asked about the coup at a press conference, Sukarno laughs and pinches a lady reporter.

DECEMBER

Paris announces new hemline for spring is at the navel. "Perhaps we had better take another look at undergarments," comments a couturier.