Lusty Grunt

Moving from description to analysis, Gent remarks:

Well understood are the tensions of college life. In order to break the tensions of mental strain, students of many universities have staged panty raids on the dormitories of nearby women colleges. To the more sophisticated Harvard male, this seems so Juvenile. After all, his women hardly ever wear any in the first place. At least not in his presence...

Parietal Rules are the necessary laws governing college residence. But the Harvard man has applied his own meaning. A time for relaxing his pent-up sexual emotions in the comfort of his college abode.

Holdelburg, dear old Holdelburg, raised stein and sword in a flashing salute to the glory of their institution. Harvard takes its whiskey straight and its pleasures with a lusty grunt.

It's noticeable the moment one walks into a Harvard man's room. Generously pillowed. Besomy red bundles of satin, as if they were blushing at the uses to which they are applied. For a properly pillowed female, exquisitely tilted, makes for the most enjoyable of evenings.

Towel-whipping and other vulgar abnormal sexual expressions are carried on. Of course, the Harvard Crimson denies all this in a namby-pamby whitewashing of the facts. Lacking as it does an editorial maturity that is surprising before the factual evidence of the college's own watchful guardians.

As well as offering this intimate description of life at Harvard, Gent feels obliged to express its moral outrage.

The shocking sex and drinking habits of the Harvard Male would sicken more gentle hearts. The wild excesses are almost unbelievable, seemingly based upon the days of the Roman Baths or the orgies of the early Britons and ancient Scandinavians.

Drinking bouts lead to sexual orgies that seem out of place in our times. And these are the men and women who may someday lead America's thinking! Still many of Harvard's Deans prefer to wear cultural horse-blinders to what is going on.

The sum and substance of Dean Munro's investigation into Harvard's moral sins indicates clearly that Harvard men are far removed from being Mother's sweet little angles, working diligently for higher learning. There is a definite lack of maturity, an unbelievable freedom as they explore an area pashed with moral dynamite.

Waves of personal disaster strike down otherwise exceptional students...

Suspicious Hasty Pudding

Alexander closes with a few alarming intimations, a few dark hints that the worst part of the scandal has yet to be rooted out.

Close proximity to the hill down the River Charles from Cambridge, Boston's famed Beacon Hill, has given to Harvard another kind of sex life. It's far removed from the norm. While not evident to the outside world, it is easily recognizable to those aware of such things.