All of Vag's efforts as a teacher were met either with scorn or indifference. When the team was playing well, Sebbie regarded it as a minimum accomplishment--a shaky assurance that he, or rather Vag, was getting his money's worth. But when they fell behind, Sebbie lapsed into a stupor which added to Vag's depression. For consolation, Vag turned to his fake binoculars.

"What's that?" Sebbie asked as Vag poured into the eye socket.

"Bourbon," said Vag.

"I bet you think I'm not old enough to drink bourbon," said Sebbie.

"That's quite correct," answered Vag.

"You're wrong," Sebbie stated flatly. Vag let the matter rest there.

Sebbie Disappears

Suddenly it was halftime and, although the team was behind, there were still the bands to be reckoned with. Sebbie, however, disappeared like a shot and Vag now had a chance to look around. He was in the middle of the date section and, as he looked at the monotonous lines of smiling faces he moodily reflected on the custom of bringing girls to football games. He was not alone in these reflections, however, for when Sebbie returned, his upper lip painted in the moustache left by an orange drink, some of the girlish smiles above him turned to frowns and giggles. There dawned the uneasy suspicion in Vag that he was being marked as a pervert.

The second half had not started yet and Sebbie shifted uneasily in his seat while Vag poured some more bourbon.

"Gee, you know," said Sebbie, tugging at Vag's sleeve. "If I had the money I'd buy me a hot dog now." Vag sneered and steeled himself against the good-humored salesmanship of a nearby vendor. He now felt not only perverted but cheap, and when a peanut salesman came by, Vag eagerly bought a small bag to share with with Sebbie. Bits of shells were blown all over Vag's flannels, but the peace of mind was worth it.

With the third period, things didn't improve much. The team fell behind by one more touchdown and Sebbie became sullen and withdrawn.

"Well," said Vag with inspiration, rising and stretching his arms, I don't know about you, but I've had enough of this game. Coming?"

"What did you buy a ticket for if you don't stay the whole game?" Sebbie spit back. "So long."

There was nothing to do now but walk home, and Vag did this, whistling. It may have been due to a partiality for Rodgers & Hammerstein, but the tune was "There is Nothing Like a Dame" all the way.