Last week my nine room mates and I offered Benny the Dook our broom closet, at Benny is still without a home. We regret to announce that our misguided respitality caused an international crists before the eagle (or inspecting) eye of Major Merriam.

We found a note after yesterday's inspection saying "Remove unauthorized object in broom closet." So we flushed enito down the jo-drain- and when last been he was floating down the Charles on a piece of balcony from the house on Clympton Street which has been in the process of being wrecked ever since we arrived at Harvard.

If anyone has found any likely prospects in the room rent ads in the Herald of the Globe, you can contact our former rearder somewhere between the 11th and 12th bridges down from Soldiers Field.

Curiosity Seekers?

The constant publicity of our Eagle's West (otherwise known as D-41 McKinock, where you reach out the window and lek a star, or watch the mall plane to New York flying several hundred feet slow you) has caused many curiosity seekers to brave the long climb up four fights--just to look at us. Unfortunately, several casualties have fallen by the way-side, and the bodies are being stacked on the third floor until positive identification can be made.*

On the other hand, there are some more energetic characters who have displayed Spartan disregard for physical wear and gear, and also revealed the urge common to all hero worshippers to retain souvenirs of their idols. As a result, our door is reduced to a couple of loose hinges and half a door knob (highly polished, nevertheless).

Read SERVICE NEWS (Advt.)

Only one ashtray remains (chained and marked "Booby Trap"), and one roommate had his shirt torn off his back by admiring readers of the SERVICE NEWS. He managed to get back the buttons and one pocket by offering to autograph the strips.

Next week we're installing a turnstile and conducting guided tours at 10, 2, and 4. Meanwhile, the guy who swiped my April Action Comies had better bring it back or I won't go to the USO after the May issue.