Vag opened up his copy of "Tilly in Turkey-land", as he did every year at this time, and started to read the nineteen hundred and thirty-ninth chapter--

The time has come, the oyster said, to talk of many things,

Of meaty mince,

Turkey with quince.

And multiple Thanksgivings.

This is a story of propaganda, and of how the three powers in the Commonwealth, the President, the Governor, and "The University", all tried to curry popular favor, and how "The University", of course, outsmarted the others.

Now the President wanted to run for a third term, so he decided that he would have to get the people on his side. He knew that people loved to eat better than anything, and that they spent most of the year sitting around, unemployed, licking their chops while waiting for Thanksgiving and the Salvation Army Banquet. So, being, as everyone knows, a frightful opportunist, he decided to make the people like him by giving them Thanksgiving a week early so that they wouldn't have to wait so long. And he did, and they won't, and the Salvation Army objected like Hell.

But the Governor had a big problem of his own: he was a Harvard man, and the common people thought he ate nothing but ambrosia and champagne, and he didn't like this. And he saw that this was an opportunity to show the common people that he had the same middle-class sentimentality that they had, so he edicted in his common-touch manner--"There are some things in life holier than the mundane desires of earth. Sentiment is more noble than stomachly desires. Your Governor realizes this and asks you not to deprive your children of the edifying effect of tradition. Let us celebrate our own dear Thanksgiving as usual."

Lest you forget, however, "The University" also had an axe to grind.

Many people said it wasn't liberal any more: some man came one day and wanted to make a speech, but "The University" wouldn't let him because it said he always lied to the government; but people said the real reason was because he had a black beard, so "The University" wasn't liberal. But the next day "The University" announced that because everyone wanted to cat their turkey on a different day, and because people should do what they wanted to do, it would serve turkey every day for a month and a day. And this was very liberal, and much better than the President and the Governor, who would only let people eat turkey one day a year.

...And then Vag closed the book and remembered what day it was, and ran over to the dining room and ate four turkey legs and a gizzard.