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THE CRIME

By R. L. W.,

Ballade of the Willing Incompetent

My trousers were terribly tight,

And parted, exposing my rear;

I clutched the hiatus in fright

And dropped on a couch that stood near.

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Then Maribel had to appear,

Demanding I meet with her aunt;

I answered her sweetly, "My dear,

I would if I could, but I can't."

We dined at the Hofbrau one night

On sausage and pretzels and beer;

When the man with the check hove in sight.

I suddenly felt very queer.

My stomach grew chilly with fear;

I hadn't a cent in my pant!

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