A bit of news from out of the West is going to solve the problem of what to do with Memorial Hall. Old "Mem" need no longer be regarded as a deadweight on the shoulders of an otherwise progressive University.
Recently a young man in Portland, Oregon, under the impression that he too, could learn 'o play in thirty days, purchased what is called a cornet. Being more than commonly considerate, he took the instrument to a vacant lot, and there, behind sheltering bill boards, gave vent to his musical complex. Such was the reward of his virtue, however, that he was taken to the police station as a "suspicious person." The following morning a wise judge praised his thoughtfulness in not practicing where he would disturb the neighbors and sent him back to the lot.
Inasmuch as the greatest open space hereabouts is the inside of Memorial, what is there to prevent the insertion in the parietal regulations, of a clause referring any and all soloists to "the Asylum," as it shall henceforth be known. All cases of saxaphobia, corlnetitis, or tromboneheadedness, whether mild or chronic, should be forced to recuperate in "Mem."
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WOODS TO ANALYZE DOCTRINES OF BUDDHISTS AT P. B. H.
