At Harvard on the riverside,
And but a minute's flivver-ride
From Chapel, lived the apple
Of a doting mother's eye.
As a gentleman and student,
He was prudish, proud, and prudent,
But his laurels and his morals
Were unquestionably high.
This model of propriety
To safeguard well his piety
From libel, read the Bible
And a bulky book of prayers;
Thereby bringing down derision
And a most unkind decision
On his prudence by the students
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