"Why, Mr. Simpson, how will it look? Only think, your dear mother-in-law will be buried to-morrow, and you working up to the last minute!"
"Can't help it, my dear; business before pleasure, always." - Ex.
HERE is a bit of advice given by one Freshman to another: "Jacques, if you keep on quarrelling with everybody who loves your wife, you will soon have no friends."
IF a friend should ask us what college paper exhibits most of that generous, noble spirit that characterizes the good and great, and the least of that petty, snarling disposition which Quilp possessed, we should to the Yale Record and say, "Not that, not that." - Dartmouth.
And yet the Record "sprinkles us with roses," this week. It says that the chivalry which considers an insult to the man an insult to the institution is sensitiveness only equalled by that of the Harvard papers. The Record admits that its remarks were abusive, but takes refuge in the strong position that "the only redress a gentleman can obtain from an abusive editor is to sue him for libel, or to administer personal chastisement," and winds up by asserting that "in all events it is a personal matter between individuals."
DR. S - E (glancing over the roll). Mr-er-er Handy (looking up), is he here? (Handy elongates himself.) Ah, Mr. H., I 'm glad to see you, sir, glad to see you. (H. blushes.) Well, Mr. H., do you - By the way, Mr. H., how you 've grown! (H. gets nervous.) Yes, Mr. H., you look decidedly, very much better. (H. shakes all over.) Why, indeed, Mr. H., you are une parfaite grandisement. Ain't that so, Mr. H.? (H. says that's not in the lesson.) Ah, yes, Mr. H., that's true, all very true. Well, to come to the point, do you think you know this lesson? (H. says he did know it once.) Glad to hear that, Mr. H. Well, what's the chapter to-day about? (H. says it is about civilization.) Very good, sir, very true. I 'm glad to see that you looked at it. Well, sir, what is civilization? (H. says it's the absence of unenlightenment.) Y-e-s, that's all true; but - you are, I think, a little too general; try to be a little more concise. Well, don't let me interrupt you, sir; go on. (H. says civilization is a very good sort of a thing; if we did n't have any civilization, we'd have barbarism.) Y-e-s, that's quite true, sir; but what - Well, I 'll get somebody else. That will do, sir, that will do. (H. seats himself.) You did better than I thought you would, Mr. H. - Penn. Univ. Mag.
The Young Ladies of C - Street.O teeth of pearl, 'twixt lips that curl,
Inviting kisses!
O gladsome smile, received oftwhile
From these fair misses.
O maidens coy! 't is students' joy
To catch your glances;
The laughing talk or evening walk
Our joy enhances
Pray, will you not feel for the lot
- Of those below you?
Be gracious, then, nor scorn us when
We seek to know you.