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Successful Harvard Law School Essay: Statement of Purpose
When I was 13 years old, my heart rate was 20 beats per minute. A dedicated nurse was constantly stationed outside my hospital room as the heart monitor would alert every few minutes that my heart rate was dangerously low. I weighed 82 pounds, felt agonizing pain stemming from my abdominal cavity, had an inch of fluid on my heart, and was facing severe congestive heart failure. The prognosis for my immediate future was exceedingly grim. No doctor could seem to understand what had caused my symptoms to begin with, so there was no solution in sight. However, because of the power of one woman, one voice, I am blessed to be writing this statement for you to read today: my mother. My mother, a woman with no background in medicine or law (but the persistence of a bulldog), embodied the one voice that saved my life.
My arduous medical journey began when I was 11 years old and started experiencing extreme abdominal pain while losing weight rapidly. I went to 22 doctors from every specialty that existed, each consultation ending in a similar way with no answers. The doctors hardly believed my story, and even less so did they know what had caused my medical condition. I was referred from one doctor to the next, a circular, unceasing loop that landed me in and out of hospitals for over two years, resulting in missing two years of school. At 13 years old, I had no voice, I had no authority, and I had no way of understanding what was wrong. I needed someone to stand up for the pain I was in, I needed someone to stand up for my life. That is exactly what my mother did. My mother was my advocate. She believed every word I said, and she fought for me every step of the way when no one else believed me or had given up. She spent day and night looking for answers - and she found them. By reading medical journals, she deduced that it was in fact a massive neuroma in my abdominal muscle that was causing this abhorrent pain which culminated in my excessive weight loss. Through persistence, she found what no one else could.
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She arranged our travel to Baltimore, Maryland where I had the neuroma removed and where I felt my life begin again. The second the neuroma was removed, the world became brighter, imbued with hope for a flourishing future. I was blessed with a second chance not by random luck, but because of the support of an advocate who stepped in for me: a vulnerable, 13-year-old girl who only wished to live a normal life. It was through her one voice that salvation came to draw me out of the darkness and into the light, a lesson I will never forget.
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From that day forward, I vowed to use my second chance and my voice to advocate for others. When my grandmother was diagnosed at 84 years old with multiple myeloma, a rare cancer, the doctors gave up, claiming she was too old and should simply go to hospice. But she wanted to live - and I made sure that happened. I researched day and night through medical journals for alternative solutions, looking for different hospitals and new drug combinations to treat her using my background in biology. I found viable answers that led to her living a beautiful, miraculous life for two more years with my family. She decided her fate rather than letting the doctors choose it for her. I was a woman who had learned from her mother that one voice, no matter how small, can make all the difference.
Without advocacy, those who are vulnerable (whether they be 13 years old or 84 years old) cannot be heard, supported, or protected. I am living proof that an advocate can change the course of an entire life. I have chosen to serve as an advocate through campaign work and interaction with voters directly across Texas, standing up for what issues matter to them most. I have trained for advocacy by working inside the heart of the Texas Legislature alongside attorneys to learn how policy is created and affects every single Texan. As president of Global Medical Brigades, I have implemented the development of multiple brigades to countries across the world, advocating for universal medical access and a sustainable healthcare industry.
It is because I have chosen this path that I am determined to expand my humanitarian reach through a career in law, the basis of which is advocating for the rights and testimonies of others. By incorporating my interest and background in health systems and human rights into a law degree from Harvard Law School, I will broaden my scope of assisting vulnerable people who need a helping hand. Through this specialization, I hope to work with patients and non-profit organizations to navigate the legal system in order to achieve the best medical care possible. This scope would also include advocating for universal health coverage in under-resourced communities both domestically and internationally. I aspire to become a lawyer because I personally know the power of what one voice can accomplish.
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Professional Review by Barrier Breakers
Katelyn’s essay begins with a powerful and gripping narrative of a life-threatening medical condition she faced at a young age. The vivid depiction of her medical crisis, combined with her mother’s relentless advocacy, sets a compelling stage for understanding her motivation and future aspirations. Starting with such a narrative in a personal statement is an effective strategy to draw the admissions reader in and elicit a strong emotional response. A personal statement often works best when it connects a series of narrative anecdotes that collectively develop a passion, and Katelyn’s essay exemplifies this model perfectly.
Katelyn not only cited her personal experience as the foundation for her interest in law but also illustrated her journey from being a vulnerable patient to becoming an advocate for others. The detailed account of her mother's advocacy efforts and Katelyn’s subsequent actions to support her grandmother highlight her resilience and commitment to helping others. She then transitions to her present work on the Texas campaign efforts and with Global Medical Brigades, providing a current view of her ongoing dedication to effecting change in her chosen field. Her essay skillfully moves between narrative stories, avoiding a mere narrative resume and employing a “show, don’t tell” technique. This logical progression from past experiences to future aspirations creates a coherent narrative that underscores her suitability for law school.
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Katelyn’s essay concludes by articulating a clear and specific career vision: working with patients and non-profit organizations to improve medical care and advocate for universal health coverage. This demonstrates her well-thought-out plan for a legal career, resonating with admissions committees seeking focused and driven applicants. Her essay effectively answers the questions: “Why law?” and “Why now?”. By the end of her essay, it's clear why she wants to practice law, and it becomes evident that law school is the next logical step for Katelyn at this point in her career.
However, to strengthen the essay, it could have been beneficial to go into more narrative details on her recent work advocating for universal medical access and sustainable healthcare. More than half of the essay focuses on her earlier experiences with her health and her grandmother's health, leaving a gap in her narrative as a young adult. She summarizes her more recent work advocating for others in 2-3 sentences, missing an opportunity to allow the committee to see her passion and dedication through more recent narrative experiences.
Additionally, a more impactful structure in the first paragraph could enhance the essay. Cutting out the last two sentences of the first paragraph so that we go straight into “my arduous medical journey began…” after the sentence that ends with “so there was no solution in sight” would avoid repetition and give more weight to introducing her mother as the champion in the second paragraph. Knowing her mother is the hero from the start diminishes the impact of her introduction later on.
Overall, this essay is exceptionally strong. It effectively weaves together different time periods to create a cohesive and compelling narrative.
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