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Created by Maria Wich-Vila, a Harvard Business School alumna with over 20 years of admissions-advice experience, ApplicantLab is a self-guided online program that puts expert admissions consulting tools in your hands: “world-class advice, at a fraction of the price”. Top admissions consultants of Maria’s caliber routinely charge $450+ for merely one hour of guidance; in contrast, ApplicantLab costs only $349 for one full year of access to the entire system.

When launched, ApplicantLab won the “Audience Favorite” vote at the regional HBS New Venture Pitch Competition – a roomful of MBA grads immediately grasped its value, and delighted users ever since have used it to bolster their applications (and have written rave reviews).

ApplicantLab walks you through every step you need to craft your strongest application possible, including in-depth analysis and guidance for your resume, recommendations, interviews, and of course, the essays. Each year, Maria attends a conference for elite admissions consultants, where she speaks with admissions officers from over 25 top programs to get the latest scoop. As the daughter of two public school teachers, Maria knows how to synthesize her knowledge into impactful lessons, and has built the tool to work well for different learning styles (ie, a linear deep-dive path, or a “speed run” / “in a hurry?” version).

Successful Harvard Business School Essay

Sixty feet up, I swung from Corona Arch in Utah’s canyonlands and weighed my options. Midpoint in my descent my long braid caught in the rope and threaded through my rappelling gear. I stopped my downward momentum in time to prevent injury, but my hair was wound and wedged tightly. Climbing up a few feet to create slack, I worked to pull my hair free, but it was impossibly tangled. With limited resources, tethered by only sixty feet of rope, I needed a solution. I called to my canyoneering companions below to pull the rope taut so I could use both hands. Then I swung my small pack off one shoulder and dug through it to find the serrated switchblade intended for cutting rope, not hair.

As a supply chain consultant, I often face challenges that require quick and resourceful response as while climbing Corona. For example, I was assigned to a project where the team I joined was behind schedule. In just four weeks we were expected to present client executives with answers to a long list of complex questions. Like using my rope knife, I confronted the client’s needs with assertive resolve, redirecting my team’s initial plan. I led us to use advanced analytics tools, personally coaching two team members from Korea and India. My creative approach to our problem accelerated data cleansing and analysis iterations, allowing us to exceed expectations ahead of schedule. Our work resulted in a strong client relationship with requests for additional work proposals worth millions of revenue dollars.

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This tenacity and skill for creative problem-solving was developed early in my life. I took a creative educational path, happy to be an autodidact, and graduated from high school at fifteen years old. Not old enough for a driver’s license and rather young to go away to college, I rode my bike to work and class at nearby University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV), despite the 110-degree heat. Mom said it built character. I strategically chose credits that transferred a year later to my school of choice: Brigham Young University (BYU).

I was determined to have a foreign experience but lacked funds for a traditional study abroad. I found a nonprofit program to sponsor me as an English teacher in Russia. While there I didn’t live in university housing with English-speaking students but instead with a Russian family in a poor, rural area. I spent that invaluable semester teaching English to grade-school children. By refusing to succumb to limitations, I made my dream for international travel a reality.

I was different from peers in college because of my age and in Russia because of my nationality. Through this difference, I learned to appreciate and optimize diversity while asserting my authenticity. For me, authenticity means accepting myself and others, expressing my thoughts honestly and clearly, learning from my mistakes, and taking actions consistent with my values. I work to be authentic.

For example, during my first college internship I was the only female on a fifteen-person team. My job was to establish operations with a newly contracted school district, organizing transportation for special needs students. Despite age and gender, I connected with co-workers and did my job so well that when my employer learned I was too young to rent a car — something they took for granted I could do because they failed to notice my age and something essential to my accomplishing my work — they accommodated me by providing prepaid cards for taxi rides and pairing me with another team member as needed. I proved such an asset to my employer that they offered me a full-time position at the end of my internship, which I declined in favor of returning to BYU. They extended offers over the years. Although I turned these down, I did recommend several friends whom they hired. This experience of being myself even though I was different from the group and even from the employers’ expectations, reinforced my commitment to authentic representation in every aspect of my life.

While at BYU, my commitment to authenticity helped me cultivate a collaborative dynamic within my supply chain team. We competed at several 24-hour case competitions, which can induce the same anxiety as dangling sixty feet above the ground with my hair caught in a carabiner. Our collaborative culture, centered on open discussion, helped us work under pressure to develop winning solutions. We were awarded first place at the BYU supply chain case competition, first place at the Mountain-West competition, and fourth place at the national level. While at BYU I also served as the supply chain program’s Executive VP of External Relations, fostering connections between students and professionals. Harnessing my ability to connect with others I built a network that directly linked three of my classmates to full-time jobs, and many underclassmen to internship offers. My dedication to building collaborative teams and meaningful connections has served me and is a core value of my personal and professional life.

During my three and a half years with [Professional Services Firm], I’ve worked on sixteen projects with thirteen different clients, many of whom are global and Fortune 500 companies. In addition to my core client work, I sought opportunities for organized community service upon joining [the firm], which further developed my collaborative skills and power for creative problem-solving. Discovering a nascent pro-bono consulting program for local nonprofits, I noticed an upcoming project for a global startup accelerator based in Boston. [Their] mission to provide equity-free funding to impact-focused startups resonated with my values, so I joined [the firm’s] project team.

Unlike carefully structured teams for standard client projects, my pro-bono team was a coalition of willing, passionate people donating night and weekend hours. A few weeks in, our project manager became too busy with core client work to continue. Due to my strong relationships with teammates they asked me to fill the leadership role. We had just completed the strategic assessment and I recognized that to deliver real value we needed to provide [the startup accelerator] something more tangible: they needed a tool to enable their work. My teammates proposed we recommend tools on the market or identify technical requirements for future development. I knew we could do better than simply provide recommendations. Understanding my client’s unique challenges, I built an Excel-based tool to automate workflows and visualize data. After several iterations with my team and the client, the tool offered an intuitive user design and custom data dashboards. [The startup accelerator] received the tool with enthusiasm, then expanded its use to all internal teams. Months later, they reported that the tool helped them secure their largest donation to date.

The project became a hallmark narrative for [the Professional Services Firm’s] bourgeoning pro-bono consulting program. I formally reported our success on several occasions, including at [the firm’s] quarterly northeast partners’ meeting. Interest in my presentations rallied support for the creation of a larger, more formal program which [the firm] coined [Program Name]. I managed our first project during the Boston pilot. [The program] is now in Boston, Chicago, and Seattle—going nation-wide in 2020. My [project] experience proved I can affect positive change. It also validated my desire to exceed creative problem solving by capitalizing on what I call my “maker nature” producing real products that deliver real value.

There is no better vote of confidence in my ability to deliver real value than the recent decision made by [the firm’s] Senior Partners to sponsor me as a Digital Accelerator. This promotion involves a year-long role of weekly protected time intended for training and experimentation with emerging technologies. Additionally, in November I was asked to lead the development of a supply chain analytics platform that will change the way [the firm’s] supply chain teams deliver value to clients. These opportunities are important and exciting to me because I see their potential for me to affect significant positive change.

The case-based learning model and carefully crafted student experiences at HBS are even more exciting to me because they promise exponential opportunity for me to contribute in real ways. I hope to utilize Harvard’s Innovation Lab and field courses in operations, technology, and entrepreneurship. While exploring the student experience, my husband and I were drawn to the Partner Club and community culture at HBS. We believe this will support my efforts to develop relationships with classmates, faculty, and alumni. Earning an MBA at Harvard will be an ongoing adventure as arduous, breathtaking and awe-inspiring as rock-climbing in Utah’s canyonlands. I intend to face academic and professional challenges at HBS with the same tenacity, creativity, and authenticity as I do rappelling because my life depends upon it.

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Professional Review by ApplicantLab

So, let me start by saying that I’ll usually discourage you from reading “sample essays” – in part, because sometimes candidates themselves are so impressive that the essay was not the deciding factor in their acceptance (they might have gotten in despite their essay), and also because there’s a risk that you might (even sub-consciously!) adopt someone else’s “voice” or style: sub-optimal in a process where authenticity is paramount.

We can start by acknowledging that this candidate is fundamentally VERY strong – they have a very compelling story, appear to work in a “feeder” role (consulting), and clearly show a years-long “habit of leadership” (a defining characteristic HBS file readers look for).

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The strongest parts of this essay are those where the candidate effectively reveals some information I would not otherwise know – e.g. their early graduation from high school and subsequent tenacity going to college / Russia. One thing I like is that the writer states the challenges overcome in a fairly matter-of-fact (not melodramatic) way, explaining how these obstacles shaped them.

It was also a good idea to point out their lasting impact – e.g., how their success in the pro-bono consulting project led to the firm expanding the initiative. This is yet another detail I might not have otherwise known, and as such, is a terrific use of the essay space.

That having been said, the essay could have been optimized in a few ways. First of all, please realize that the file reader will be reading NOT ONLY your essays, but also your resume, recommendations, and the many little text boxes within the application form as well (awards; extra-curricular activities; and most importantly, your work accomplishments and challenges). So, e.g., the paragraph about the college supply chain competition – most of that information was probably already covered elsewhere? To make your essay as strong as possible, think about strategically using the rest of the application, and reserving the essay(s) for otherwise-unknown details!

Also, for HBS specifically, there is no need to talk about why you want to go there. Harvard has historically had the highest “yield rate” (roughly 90%) of any business school. They know their case method is terrific, they know their community rocks, etc. Providing a laundry list of their offerings isn’t necessary.

Finally, there are two stylistic choices here that could have been improved. First, the repeated rappelling / knife references were distracting due to being too forced / ham-fisted. There is no need to force your essay(s) around a central theme (unless you’re specifically asked to).
Secondly, the author makes (understandable) usage of buzzwords and trendy business phrases such as “I …appreciate and optimize diversity while asserting my authenticity...learning from my mistakes”. Which, to be clear, are wonderful sentiments! But then no strong, specific evidence is provided of the candidate actually doing those things. The example given of “commitment to authentic representation” was … merely bringing up that they were too young to rent a car? That’s a mere minor logistical hiccup, not a dramatic moment of “asserting authenticity”? In your essays, resist the temptation to overly-dramatize events, include trendy buzzwords, or make claims about yourself without providing parallel evidence.

In sum, this is an impressive candidate with a strong essay (who was probably going to get accepted regardless of the essay!). Trimming of superfluous information (found elsewhere), removal of “Why HBS?”, avoiding the temptation to force a metaphor, and ensuring that parallel structure is adhered to (e.g. don’t bring up “I am a ____ sort of person” without then providing a concrete example), would have brought this essay to an even stronger level.

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