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My first emergency case involved three housing-insecure children. Law enforcement agents brought them to the CARE Center after abuse was discovered. I introduced myself and we began playing with Barbies. After several hours of playing, the oldest child, a teenager, asked if I could read. She explained that she couldn’t, having never attended school. She requested that I read Where the Wild Things Are out loud. She was thrilled to hear a story, and I was happy to provide temporary comfort. This small moment established trust, empowering her to recount her experience during the forensic interview.

Children involved in the prosecution of abuse are often frightened and overwhelmed, but the resources provided at the CARE Center are designed to be comforting. Working with children at this stage of their legal journey has solidified my desire to defend the rights of vulnerable populations. After graduating from law school, I intend to serve as legal counsel for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. As an attorney, I hope to provide adequate representation to clients while prioritizing their mental well-being and safety for the duration of the trial.

Many children who come to the CARE Center are food insecure, lack stable housing, or are in the foster care system. Abusers often are not held accountable, as attorneys are expensive and inaccessible to many. Representing children, undocumented individuals, and low income clients in the nonprofit sector, I hope to improve attorney access for survivors of abuse. It is my goal to contribute to the broad advancement of gender justice. As my career progresses, I intend to represent clients whose civil rights and civil liberties have been violated on the basis of their gender or sexual orientation. By advocating for clients whose rights have been violated, I will challenge discriminatory policies in court. I hope to protect access to reproductive healthcare, expand state and federal civil rights laws, and address gender discrimination in the workplace.

Volunteering at the CARE Center, I have gained important skills for working with survivors of domestic violence. Establishing trust requires empathy, compassion, and attentive listening. Throughout my legal career, I plan to use these skills to be an effective lawyer in service of others.

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Professional Review by Apollo Test Prep

“Why Law?”

Good law school statements of purpose are largely similar to good college essays: they should be engaging, demonstrate strong writing skills, and showcase the applicant’s unique strengths and interests. However, your law school admissions officer is interested in something else as well: a reason. Your statement of purpose should provide a clear and convincing reason why you want to go to law school. College (for better or worse) has become an important part of a general education. Law school, on the other hand, is a trade school. Schools want to admit students who will actually practice law, so your personal statement should always answer the question: why law?

We see this demonstrated almost immediately in Maria's essay. By the end of her first paragraph, she’s already clued in her readers to what her reason would be: providing healing resources to survivors of abuse. Simultaneously, she checks off another important box of the statement of purpose: providing a tangible example of something she’s done to support that reason. Instead of writing theoretically about how nice it would be if she was able to use a J.D. to help abuse survivors, she gets right into the experience she already has doing just that. This indicates to law schools that she is serious about the reason she wants to pursue this path.

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Maria talks about a particular case that sparked her interest in working with children who have survived abuse and very simply relates that to her continued desire to help these vulnerable populations post-law school. Law schools want to admit students who they’re confident will 1. Graduate, 2. Pass the Bar, and 3. Become Employed. These are the metrics that determine their success as an institution. By speaking about a specific area of interest and related employment experience rather than gesturing about a desire to practice law, you convince schools of your likelihood to do all three of those things.

Structure

I always tell students to first and foremost build the statement around telling a good story. Admissions officers are still people. Even if you present a great reason for going to law school and make a strong case for your admission, your essay will not be effective if it’s boring.

Maria, understandably, makes one of the most common mistakes we see in personal statements: she treats the first half of the essay like an extension of her resume. Personal statement real estate is more valuable than resume real estate. Rehashing a list of duties and responsibilities in the personal statement is a poor use of real estate and makes the story less engaging. Maria would be better served by expanding the anecdote of her reading a story to a teenager who couldn’t read, adding color and weaving it throughout the entire statement.

In her second to last paragraph, Maria moves rather abruptly from her intent to offer assistance to survivors of abuse to her intent to remedy gender injustice. This second reason why she wants to practice law is not nearly as well-supported as the first - by tying these two together more clearly or by providing individual support for the second, she could have made a more compelling case for this secondary career goal. Picking one reason and using her writing real estate to better affirm that specific goal would have made this statement stronger.

Overall, Maria demonstrates a simple and convincing purpose that underscores a serious intent to practice law. If she can restructure the essay to focus on a central reason, built around one or two compelling stories, she’ll end up with a fantastic centerpiece to her application.

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