By the end of this column, you will understand why the Ivy League schedule is going to change, and why I have to start by talking about pre-term planning.

The tool that tries men’s souls, a Cthulhu-like nightmare worthy of True Detective, pre-term planning has no proper historical or cultural precedent. Except maybe Frankenstein’s monster, since Dean of Undergraduate Education Jay M. Harris called the program “horrible” two years after witnessing its profane creation

But what does this have to do with sports? I’ll get there.

Despite the horrors, pre-term planning retains one redeeming quality (in addition to accurately predicting the enrollment for many courses): it makes an easy topic of dining hall conversation.

Students and faculty come together over a shared love of hating the system. They discuss how it distorts the TF hiring process, bewitches professors, and ensnares students in overcrowded lecture halls. Then, like the preteens we all are deep inside, they chatter about how they would fix the bad boy if only they could control it.

Selecting a course pre-term should give you a leg-up if it has a lottery during shopping week…. You should be able to add a degree of confidence with each selection…. Just create a model for course growth based on past enrollment, for Pete’s sake.

Pre-term planning is not the dining hall sage’s only area of expertise, of course. Listen long enough and you will hear all of their other quick-fix suggestions in due time.

Life would be easier for everyone if we could order grill items from our phones…. Professors should just give students a one-minute break to respond to emails and texts midway through class…. Why can’t Harvard figure out weekend shuttle service?

OK, so what does this all have to do with Harvard Athletics? Well, that exact same type of creative chatter is taking place in Ivy football circles concerning the league’s scheduling policies.

During last month’s preseason teleconference, Princeton coach Bob Surace suggested the league’s eight teams be divided into two divisions, with the winners playing in a championship game and one of them advancing to the FCS Playoffs.

The Daily Pennsylvanian joined the discussion earlier this month, with writer Steven Tydings opining for the conference to start play earlier.

Starting the season a week earlier would ensure warmer weather for the first night game, capitalize on back-to-school fan enthusiasm, and allow students to go to more games before their workloads reach cruising altitude.

Shifting the schedule would also mean inserting a bye week in the middle of the slate, as most other college and professional teams do. Adding a week off would fit perfectly with the conference’s stated priority regarding safety and health.

Harvard should also be able to play in the FCS playoffs, especially now that the league and the University are making broadcasting deals with ESPN and NBC Sports. It is unfair of the conference to use the students for nationally televised marketing while claiming, “Postseason play would undermine the student identity of our student-athletes,” as University President Drew G. Faust did in 2012.

I should add that the quote only applies to football players, in case you were confused about all the other Harvard athletes who are allowed to win national championships.