’Tis the season to be self-promoting. Between breaking ice and making deals, it can be easy to forget exactly where you are and who you are trying to impress. FM’s here to remind you to ask yourself the following localizing questions:
What are you wearing?
- Business Formal
- Business Formal
- Backless Paper Robe (Business Casual)
What are you talking about?
- Your family’s yacht
- Your former boss’ yacht
- Some weird rash on your hand
Where is your résumé?
- In your suit pocket, just in case.
- In your briefcase, just in case.
- Somewhere in your parents’ house. Your vaccinations are impressively all up-to-date.
What are people asking you?
- So, who do you know?
- Well, what do you know?
- Are you pregnant?
Why are you sweating so much?
- You didn’t read up on this in your dad’s study.
- This wasn’t in the case studies.
- Your temperature is 98.6 degrees, but you swear you feel like you have a fever.
What “fun facts” does your 30-second pitch of yourself include?
- Your favorite activity: rowing
- Your favorite activity: leadership development
- Yes, you are sure that you are not pregnant.
What kind of food is being served?
- Assorted fresh vegetable and hummus platter.
- Assorted fresh fruit and hummus platter.
- No hummus.
What will you tell yourself if things go badly?
- You are morally opposed to this institution anyway.
- You are morally opposed to this institution anyway.
- Having two hands is overrated anyway.
If you answered mostly 1, congratulations!...? You’re at a Punch Event.
If you answered mostly 2, congratulations!...? You’re at an OCI Recruiting Event.
If you answered mostly 3, congratulations!...? You’re at UHS.
