Thank God for Twitter.

The social media company that is slowly taking over the world was traded on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange for the first time Thursday morning. Its price quickly shot up, finishing the day 73 percent higher than it started. Of course it did—Twitter is awesome.

Twitter helps spread breaking news. It allows fans to watch athletes feud in real time. It gives you (shameless plug alert) the chance to follow Harvard sports news @THCSports. But most importantly, Twitter is going to keep me sane this weekend.

At 12:30 p.m. Saturday, Harvard (6-1, 3-1 Ivy) will take the field against Columbia (0-7, 0-4 Ivy). Last year, the Crimson literally could not stop scoring on the Lions in a 69-0 embarrassment. The game might not be any closer this time around.

So I’m going to be following something else.

Harvard has lost to Columbia just once in the last 14 years. This year, the Lions have dropped their last two conference games by a combined score of 109-12. Those losses have come to a pair of teams that are 2-4 against other Ivy competition.

All of this is to say that Columbia is not just bad, it is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad team.

Given that, it’s hard for me to even call Saturday’s contest a game. It’s even harder for me to get excited about covering it.

While the Crimson tries to show mercy in New York, a much bigger game will be played 80 miles southeast of Lawrence A. Wien Stadium. Princeton, still undefeated in conference play, travels to Penn, which stumbled against Brown last weekend.

If the Tigers can get by the Quakers in what might be the second biggest rivalry in Ivy football, they would just have to beat Yale and Dartmouth to sweep conference play. But if Penn can pull off the upset, everything changes. All of the sudden, Harvard, Penn, and Princeton would each have one loss in advance of Penn’s biennial trek to Cambridge.

So excuse me if Harvard-Columbia doesn’t have my full attention Saturday. I might be on Twitter, following the more exciting action.

HARVARD at COLUMBIA

The question isn’t who, but by how much. The Lions have lost to Princeton by 46, Dartmouth by 56, and Yale by 41 this season. The predicted high Saturday in New York is 51 degrees. Will Harvard beat Columbia by more than that? I think so, but at least that is a question worth asking.

PICK: Harvard 55, Columbia 3

BROWN (5-2, 2-2 Ivy) at YALE (4-3. 2-2 Ivy)

The top of the Ivy pecking order is becoming increasingly clear, but the middle of the pack remains as muddled as ever, with the Bears, Bulldogs, and Big Green all entering the weekend 2-2 in league play. That said, Brown appears to be the best of the ‘B’ bunch. Its only losses are to Princeton and Harvard and it shut out Penn, 27-0, last weekend. A win at Yale would solidify the Bears’ position as the best of the rest.

PICK: Brown 31, Yale 27

BROWN PRINCETON (6-1, 4-0 Ivy) at PENN (4-3, 3-1 Ivy)

Princeton has not won an outright Ivy title since 1995. It has claimed a share just three times in the last 40 seasons.

A win Saturday would go a long way in earning the Tigers another one.

As much as an upset would make the final two weeks more interesting, I don’t see it happening. Simply put, nobody has been able to stop the Princeton offense, which has scored nearly 200 more points than Penn has over the first seven games of this season.

PICK: Princeton 38, Penn 20

CORNELL (1-6, 0-4 Ivy) at DARTMOUTH (3-4, 2-2 Ivy)

After winning its first game of the year, the Big Red has dropped six straight games, giving up 34 points or more each week. I don’t think that’s how David Archer wanted to start his head coaching tenure up in Ithaca. Assuming Dartmouth is able to bounce back from last week’s last-minute loss to Harvard, it looks like next week’s battle for New York will pit two winless Ivy teams against each other. Better buy your tickets now!

Pick: Dartmouth 41, Cornell 31

—Staff writer Jacob Feldman can be reached at jacob.feldman@thecrimson.com. Follow him on Twiter @jacobfeldman4.