In the well-known book series, A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, a trio of children undergoes ill-fated events following their parents’ death. There’s Violet, the oldest child who invents ways to get her two siblings out of trouble. There’s Klaus, the middle child who reads a lot. And there’s Sunny, a baby who enjoys biting things and somehow has really advanced problem-solving skills for an infant.
Before the death of their parents, things go swimmingly for the children. But afterwards, things often do not go the way of the Baudelaires. Behind all of their troubles is the evil Count Olaf, a tall guy with a unibrow whose lone goal in life is to disrupt the lives of the Baudelaires.
On the Sixth Saturday of the past two Ivy League football seasons, the Baudelaires’ parents die. Count Olaf comes to town. The lives of three children are ripped asunder. Or, as others might say, Harvard football faces what’s quickly becoming the most dreaded game of its season—Princeton.
Prior to last weekend, the Baudelaires’ lives—henceforth known as the Harvard football team—were mostly unblemished. Yes, there was that eternal issue of injuries plaguing the team—at kicker, at quarterback, at offensive line, and most recently at linebacker, but never before had it had a crippling effect. A 5-0 record evidenced this, as did a general level of confidence entering Saturday’s game.
But something about the arrival of the orange and black uniforms rings of Halloween arriving early in Cambridge—with the scary man behind the door, of course, being a tall, probably unibrowed (though the helmets made it difficult to verify) Princetonian. And on Saturday, there were a number of Count Olafs running around Harvard Stadium.
There were the obvious nemeses—Quinn Epperly and Roman Wilson, the QB-WR combo that had finished off Harvard in the shell-shocking 2012 upset, who appeared in a reincarnation of their last season selves to pull off more last-minute heroics and top Harvard in triple overtime.
There was Caraun Reid and the rest of the Tigers’ defensive line, which combined for seven sacks and made Conner Hempel’s life miserable.
And there was the head Count Olaf himself—coach Bob Surace, who created enemies out of both the Harvard football team and the TV announcers after taking no-huddle offense to the extreme and running plays every five seconds.
Harvard put forth a valiant effort. But even though Violet—let’s give this honor to the veteran Harvard defense—continually bailed out the offense in the second half and gave the team numerous opportunities to win, the versatile and well-oiled machine that was the Princeton offense eventually prevailed.
The suffocating Princeton D-line threw a number of blitzes at Klaus—quarterback Conner Hempel—who tried to read them, but with an inexperienced offensive line, there was little he could do to avoid a seven-man rush.
And Sunny—poor backup Andrew Flesher, the walk-on kicker who stepped in with David Mothander still sidelined—was asked to hit a 50-yard field goal to win the game in the waning seconds of regulation. It seemed almost inevitable that the ball would sail towards the uprights, have enough air behind it, and miss just wide left.
In the books, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny eventually survive the onslaught of Olaf. But on Saturday, Chapter one of the series of unfortunate events was too much for Harvard.
With the departure of Princeton, will the curse lift? Will the Baudelaires prevail? Only time will tell…
DARTMOUTH (3-3, 2-1 Ivy) AT HARVARD (5-1, 2-1 Ivy)
Dartmouth’s 56-0 victory over Columbia demonstrates just one thing: the Big Green has enough people on their roster to put together a football team. It seems that’s the only prerequisite these days to beat (re: completely demolish) the Lions.
Read more in Sports
Football Looks to Rebound Against Dartmouth