COLLEGE SENIOR

Stays up all night working on thesis:

Ten more pages and then I will shower!

Looks for a job at Goldman Sachs:

I’m just doing finance for two years. Then I’ll work for a nonprofit. I promise.

BOTH

Fall asleep at some point, and wake up not knowing where they are:

Hi, I'm Charles. Nice to meet you. Umm, where did we put my pants? Also, is this Lowell or Quincy?

Grandpa, you can't keep walking away like that. I know, I know. That building used to be a forest, but you can't urinate on it.

Worry about the hereafter: hell at age 22 or after 80-something years?

Umm, I’m still exploring my options. I might just work as an elf and chill for a year.

Honey, I’m probably going to hell. I’ve done a lot of missed up stuff. Remember that time with the puppies...?

SENIOR CITIZEN

Stays up all night watching “The Price Is Right”:

These fools always overbid. There’s no way an Oreck vacuum would cost that much.

Looks for a tube of Gold Bond ointment:

That damn rash is back again, honey. Where’s the cream?