At 6:55 a.m. the Yard is quiet, except for the beeping of a truck in reverse and the fluttering of posters. The neon-green grass looks perky, and even the homeless man picking bottles out of the trash seems strangely idyllic.
Suddenly, bleary-eyed students emerge from dorms armed with fistfuls of posters. By 7:02, students in various stages of undress begin to segregate by event. The air is tense, the voices low. The Eleganzians clear their throats and glance at the Rock for a Reason-ians. The Secular Society stands aloof, dour with morning tiredness and atheism.
Andrew G. Maher ’11—a “poster first-timer”—believes that nobody in their right minds would wake up to poster.
But duty calls.
The Poster-Remover waddles over to the poster boards, a large trash bag billowing in his hand. At this sight, directions are shouted overhead and teams disperse. Some begin with a brisk but restrained stroll, but sensing others gaining speed, break into a run.
The Poster-Remover is unexpressive. He mechanically begins to tear down poster after poster. Students flock about him like flies on a carcass, all wriggling to get a choice spot. For a moment, his face flickers with annoyance as unwashed arms graze his cheeks.
“It’s fine,” he says, tearing down a poster, nonplussed. “It doesn’t really bother me that much.”
His calmness makes the students look maniacal.
“Would I cover a condom poster with my Jesus poster?” a student from the Catholic Students Association asks. “Yes, I would.”
Some students even resort to covering up other events. John Harvard wearing a whipped-cream bikini hangs dangerously close to a poster about Mormons. A bare-legged Eleganza model glares at MCAT test review prices.
“It’d be nice if there were fewer people so there’s less competition,” Sophie Cai ’11 says. “Everyone’s trying to get the best spots.”
Welcome to Harvard.
