Hello, I am a woman, and more specifically, I am a feminist. Lately Harvard College’s undergrad population has been abuzz with talk about the new Women’s Center, which has led to discussions about feminism—discussions full of misinformation and caricatures of feminists and our goals.

So, as a feminist, what do I want? For everyone to stop associating me with this whole bra-burning thing. It’s sort of culturally irrelevant to today’s society. I mean, seriously, my bra cost $50 from Victoria’s Secret—it’s expensive—so if you think I’m going to burn it and expose myself to this cold New England weather, you’re crazy. Laughable caricatures of bra-burning feminazis fail to recognize that contemporary feminism comes in a variety of guises, united by the still-incomplete struggle for equality in the workplace, in social life, and all other aspects of life.

Growing up in Texas, I was indoctrinated with the belief that girls grow up to become mommies and cook and clean the house. Around me, I could see some women in the workplace, but they tended to work certain jobs and almost without exception did so under male supervision. These women were usually secretaries, waitresses, nurses—there is nothing wrong with these jobs, whatever your gender—but in this environment, women do not grow up surrounded by female CEOs. However, I wanted to do other things, and luckily my mother told me I was smart enough to do whatever I wanted.

Yet even in my senior year in high school, whenever I said I wanted to go away to Harvard, everyone asked, “Oh, so you want to find yourself a rich man, is that why?” Obviously, I chose Harvard for more than just an M.R.S. degree, but even in today’s society, it can be impossible to escape the view of a woman as a person who is supposed to submit to a man. I thought Harvard would be a more feminist-friendly place, but surprisingly, judging by the reaction to the new Women’s Center, I was wrong. Even women here are sometimes anti-feminist, which is strange.

It is important to recognize what feminism is not; namely, being a feminist doesn’t mean I hate men. Trust me, throughout my life, I’ve had plenty of reason to, yet I don’t. Being a feminist simply means that as a woman, I have an admiration, respect, and love for women in general that comes from a sort of shared experience, an almost inherited knowledge and history that is the result of being female. I’m not a feminist because I have a violent aversion to all things masculine, nor because I feel the need to measure up to men. If feminism were about loathing men, then feminists would be called something else, something more like “Antimanists” or “Manhaters” or “Masculophobics,” or something equally awkward for anyone but a Harvard student to say with a straight face. But that is not what feminism is all about.

To say that feminism is marked by bra-burning, hyper-sexual, hairy-legged “feminazis”—as many have alleged in the debates over the Women’s Center—is to cruelly and crassly draw attention away from all the good that feminism has accomplished, such as achieving women’s rights—something many women who take part in such demeaning name-calling apparently take for granted. Any intelligent and considerate person would simply dismiss this as a childish description, but it’s less-distinguishing people that actually believe these things about feminists. Besides, if those dreaded feminists hadn’t worked so hard for equitable treatment and rights, there’s a pretty good chance that no Harvard woman of a later generation would have the opportunity to mock them in the college newspaper.

Moreover, anyone can be a feminist, man or woman. The definition offered by womensissues.about.com supports this: “Feminism is believing in equal rights among the genders, in social, political, and economic aspects… [and] is the advancement of women. Feminism is not taking away from, or removing the rights of, men.” Just as it would be dangerous to take away men’s rights, it would be equally dangerous to discredit feminists for all they have done and dishonor their hard work by not continuing it. Perhaps very privileged students don’t quite have the realization of the real world outside of college, but surviving in today’s society is marked by a constant struggle to uphold and ensure one’s rights. Women are lucky that their mothers and even grandmothers loved their daughters enough to cause the social unrest that produced the benefits that many women enjoy today. But perhaps these same daughters, the women of today, fail to realize that to keep a flower alive, it must be watered every day, not just once.

Anyone who needs proof that not all feminists are monsters needs to look no further than the girls in Harvard’s sororities. Many of them are feminists, politically-minded women who do not want to be disrespected for a trivial thing such as gender. They enjoy the company of other women who are their friends, and take a special pride in and have fun being women, which does not go against supporting women’s rights.

Ultimately, as a woman, what do I want? It’s easy. Just give me a break, and give me back my damn bra.

Robin L. Toler ’09 lives in Holworthy Hall.