The Shaggy Dog

Directed by Brian Robbins

Buena Vista Pictures





BY KYLE L.K. MCAULEY

CONTRIBUTING WRITER



I believe that great comedy comes in threes, but in Tim Allen’s case I make an exception. I mean, “Home Improvement” was schlock, “The Santa Clause” never needed a sequel (let alone two), and his baritone turn as Buzz Lightyear, an action figure with delusions of grandeur, provided an uncanny representation of his career trajectory. But come on… a dog?

“The Shaggy Dog” is a neo-Disney butchery of a vintage-Disney classic. For the sake of formality, here’s the basic plot: Dave Douglas’ (Allen) new dog bites him, and through the miracles of pseudo-science Douglas periodically turns into a sheepdog. Oh yeah, and this whole spontaneous metamorphosis thing has put the kibosh on his familial relationships, but it’s all too shallow to be interesting.

Allen’s miraculous transformations into a sheepdog seem to have no real cause. They just happen whenever the filmmakers feel the need to elicit a cheap laugh or drive the flaccid plot forward. Indeed, “The Shaggy Dog” is one of the most contrived films to besmirch the good name of American cinema.

Yet family comedies can be all-around great fun. “Toy Story” (featuring Allen in a decently compelling performance) is in my top-ten list, and “Finding Nemo” never disappoints. Both of those movies succeed based on their ability to bring out the gleeful child within the bitterest cynic. “The Shaggy Dog” doesn’t come remotely close to replicating the same coup de cinema.

And yes, it is really all Allen’s fault. The presence of his human or canine self seems to cause any scene to implode. However, his wife (Kristin Davis, “Sex & the City”) and children (Zena Grey and Spencer Breslin) turn in decent performances when their doggy hubby/daddy leaves to pursue one of his delusional, tangential quests.

It wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t have to hear the dronorous Allen soliloquizing his inner thoughts whenever he gets sheep-dogified. When he finally gets captured by the bad guys (whose presence has something to do with a nebulous animal rights/genetic engineering subplot) you hope, just for a second, that they might put him down.

Bottom Line: Harvard students–avoid this film like your first Expos paper. Harvard professors–take your kids and bring a book.